


A Good Enough Reason

by Skeli



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series)
Genre: Angst and Romance, Autism Spectrum, Character Development, Childhood Friends, Dysfunctional Family, Growing Up, M/M, Set before Sun and Moon, Sign Language, and growing a pair, selective mutism, these boys are about to assume some goddamn responsibility!, this is the year of realizing things for green oak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2020-07-08 09:03:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19867015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeli/pseuds/Skeli
Summary: Green likes to think he's not the same person he was ten years ago. At twenty-four, Green now runs a Gym, sets an example for his community, and occasionally thinks before he speaks.  Family and obligations complicate his new self-view, however. It's one thing to do his sister a favor and smile for the cameras for one festive weekend, and quite another to face all his mistakes head on in the form of the only friend who loved him enough to be hurt by him. But, hey, there's supposed to be fireworks.





	1. Blueberry or Chocolate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first work for the Pokemon fandom although it was literally all I watched and played during my childhood. I'm in my twenties now, and seeing Red and Green be all grown up in Sun and Moon set off a chain reaction inside me that started with me replaying Fire Red three times and ended with this fic.
> 
> Comments and critiques are my life blood, please engage this author.

**Chapter One-----** Blueberry or Chocolate?

There wasn't much to say about Pallet Town. It was small, population under five-hundred. Visitors would often call it quaint, and Green used to have trouble discerning which ones meant it as a genuine compliment and which ones didn't know what else to say. Visitors were something Pallet got a lot of. People were always passing through, but never staying. Pallet was a pit stop for everyone but the ones lucky enough to be born into its mediocrity. For all its lack of splendor, the town had a way of trapping its natural-born citizens in its miniscule borders. What inspired such loyalty, Green could never say as he seemed to be the exception to the rule.

Before the year Green turned fourteen, Pallet Town's one and only claim to fame was the Oak Laboratory. His grandfather's laboratory. Green grew up helping with tours from schools as far away as Cerulean City. Never further though, he noted. It was evidently not that interesting, despite the reputation of the its namesake.

Green was good at attracting attention to himself so it wasn't too hard keeping elementary schoolers entertained with regurgitated facts he'd overheard, even though he was barely older than they were. 

It wasn't the worst thing in the world, at first. But once Oak realized that Green, with a little assistance from the aides, could handle the tours without his help he stopped showing up. Occasionally he would make a grand entrance and say hello to the kids before slinking back into the section of the lab that visitors, and even Green, were prohibited from entering. The children would whisper in excitement about how lucky they were to see the elusive professor, and that made Green seethe because every one of those kids would have had the opportunity to meet Oak if he hadn't pawned all his responsibilities off on his grandson.

Pallet Town longest standing claim to fame was a monument to everything shitty about Green's childhood and it wasn't long before he hated it. It was the first thing he allowed himself to criticize his grandfather for. Other grievances were to follow.

Red was a different story. The opposite story, to be precise. Red liked the lab, but preferred not to be in the spotlight. Despite much encouragement from Oak, Red would not go to Green's side and help him with the visitors, even though Red knew everything Green did and more.

Green thought that was perfectly fine and didn't understand why Gramps kept trying to nudge Red in a direction he simply wasn't meant to go in. Anyone who knew Red knew he was not and never would be sociable, or at least the general definition of the word. Green knew the Red was all the good things people _really_ meant when they praised someone for being sociable. Nice, accepting, a good listener; the only reason people got it wrong all the time was the Red didn't speak, not since he was a toddler.

Delia mentioned once the Red babbled the same way most toddlers did, but once he had the faculties to understand the concept of what language was, he opted out and hadn't uttered a peep for as long as Green could remember. The townsfolk used to gossip about why Red was the way he was, but like the tiny, insignificant town they lived in, there wasn't much to say.

Until the year that Green turned fourteen, when Pallet Town became the home of not one, but two of the youngest champions in _any_ League's history, and the two youngest period in the Kanto region. On the same day. Within thirty minutes of each other.

Some might say that twenty-four was too young to have a spiking blood pressure. Green was likely to agree, so he resented his sister very much for her role in his acutely declining health.

"It's one week, Green," she pleaded."Just one. How often do I ask you to come home? I know you don't like it there. I wouldn't ask unless we really needed you."

"I thought the muffins were suspicious," Green said.

Daisy avoided his eyes. A look of betrayal was cemented on Green's face as he took another bite out of his muffin. It was delicious.

Truthfully, Greens smelled a rat before Daisy had presented him with a basket of fresh baked goods. She never bothered Green at his office in the middle of the day, saving her ambushes for the evening when she knew he'd be free.

"The kids would love to meet you," Daisy said."All the older folks would like to see you doing well, too...you are doing well, right?"

It was Green's turn to look away.

"Of course I am!" He said with a theatrical flick of his wrist."How could I not be? I have the gym, and my Pokémon. An _education_. What more does a guy need?"

"Depends on the guy," Daisy said, eyes narrowed appraisingly.

She was five years his senior, old enough look after him but young enough to remember what it was like to be his age. It was a hard combination to lie to and get away with it. She opened her mouth to ask a shrewd question Green knew he couldn't bullshit through, so he interrupted her.

"Anyway, I doubt the kids will want to see me. I've probably trounced half of them in the gym and the other half have heard the stories of my ruthlessness. "

Daisy's expression was violently neutral as she raised her teacup to her lips and took a long sip, eying him over the rim of the cup.

" _Certainly_ a valid concern, Green. _Definitely_ a legitimate issue."

Green felt like he'd been shot.

"You wouldn't know this considering you never visit," Daisy continued."But not a lot of Pallet Town kids are setting out on journeys these days. Historically speaking, not many trainers come from Pallet. If you'll recall, it was a big deal when both you and Red left at the same time. Color Mania was an exception, of course."

A shiver ran down Green's spine. Color Mania was what the Pallet Gazette dubbed the sky-rocketing rates of teens heading out on Pokémon journeys after Green and Red took the Indigo Plateau by storm. Green balled up that particular news paper and had Arcanine burn it to a crisp, his only regret being that he didn't have any marshmallows to roast over the flames.

"Don't bring that up again."

"It's a perfectly sound naming choice, you and Red are both-"

"You got to be named after a flower, so don't tell me how to feel about it!"

"Do you want to be named after a flower?" Daisy asked, doubtful.

"Maybe I do. So what? Times are changing, Daisy, I could be named Hyacinth without anyone batting an eye."

"I've let you side track me," Daisy waved away Green's mounting irritation with a flip of her hand."If it's successful, the Firework Festival will bring more traffic to Pallet. The inn, the restaurants, _Delia's_ restaurant; they'd all get a much needed boost. We really need this to work, Green. Things haven't been great lately."

Of course she made a point to say Delia's name. Daisy certainly knew how to pull his strings. Green looked at his lap and the crumbs gathering there, mind suddenly far away.

"That so?"

Daisy nodded grimly.

Green had never managed anything larger than the Viridian Gym, so he couldn't really speak on what sort of shindig was liable to boost the economy of a town that got progressively smaller and poorer every year. Still, he had his doubts and reservations about the plan. One such reservations was, despite spending his entire youth in pursuit of something that made him stand out, Green had begun to appreciate his privacy. It was still nice to meet a fan, but the media was brutal and having his face on the front page was not worth subjecting himself to the slander and lies that tabloids spun on a slow news day. 

"We need to pull out all the stops on this one," Daisy said."And Pallet's only got a few of those."

Green snapped back to attention, mouth open and aghast.

"You don't mean..." he trailed.

Daisy scooted the basket of muffins closer to him.

"Have another," she said.

"He's on Mount Silver!" Green stood abruptly, knocking his chair back into the bookcase that towered over his office desk.

"He can leave," Daisy insisted.

"Are you sure?" Green leaned over the desk to get in her face."Because he sure as hell doesn't act like it!"

"Well, maybe he hasn't had a good enough reason." Daisy crossed her arms over her chest.

"And you think some festival is one?" Green huffed a laugh.

Daisy stood up as well and slammed her hands onto the desk, mirroring Green.

"Yes!"

Her bright green eyes shone with something he recognized very well. The will to fight and suffer and struggle for something. The biggest difference between himself and his sister was, now and always, that Daisy only mustered that fire for the sake of others.

Green looked down at the smooshed muffin under his hand, the alluring fruit that had banished him to the underworld, and gave in.

"Okay, fine," Green sighed."I'll go the festival and do my civic duty."

Daisy relaxed off the desk, expression immediately switched to a broad and sunny smile. She reached across the desk and tugged Green into an uncomfortable hug.

"Thank you, I knew you wouldn't leave us hanging!"

Green sighed again, fluttering the lace around Daisy's collar.

"Can I hazard a guess about who's gonna have to go up that mountain after him?" Green said through clenched teeth.

Daisy pulled back and sat down in her chair, taking her tea cup in hold.

"Probably the only person I know who's done it before," she said.

Green also reseated himself, posture as abysmal as he felt.

"I'm want more muffins," he said.

Daisy took a long sip of her tea before asking:"Blueberry or chocolate?"


	2. Shag Carpet and Sugar Cookies

**Chapter Two------** Shag Carpet and Sugar Cookies

 _Everything in moderation_ was a wise saying that Green wished Daisy would take to heart when it came to how many string lights she was determined to hang to around the festival grounds. Flying over the halfway constructed vendor booths and children's games nearly blinded him. At least Pidgeot could see. That was probably more important. He should have been grateful to land safely, but setting foot onto the ground turned out to be an 'out of the frying pan' sort of moment.

Green only stopped by Pallet before heading off to Mount Silver to pick up a package from Delia, and definitely not because he was delaying the trip until the last possible second. But his small detour dragged on longer and longer as he was immediately greeted and thanked by anyone who managed to cross his path.

Even Green could get bored of the same praises, but he tried to be nice to everyone. That did not go unnoticed.

"My, someone's been drinking some humble juice," Mrs. Kaneda said."Never thought I'd see the day you graciously accepted a compliment."

Green's mouth twitched. Maybe he'd changed, but Mrs. Kaneda certainly had not. Her thick glasses were at least as old as he was and made her look owlish. That particular characteristic was very befitting, given her infamy for being a person who knew everyone's secrets. It wasn't that she was a gossip, no. She was much worse. She never had to get information secondhand, she could simply divine it by looking long enough at her selected target. He and Red used to call her The All-Seeing Eye. Green's idea, but it Red thought it was funny enough to keep using. 

"Everyone's gotta grow up eventually," he said with a hopefully authentic laugh.

"I'd say so," Mrs. Kaneda."Right, Mr. Kaneda?"

Mr. Kaneda stood beside his wife, hunched over from a combination of advanced age and peaceful slumber. She elbowed him in the ribs.

"Hrmm? Oh, yes. I'd say so. Quite right."

"Uh, okay," Green said."I'll being seeing you two later."

He waved goodbye and walked off in the direction of Delia's house. He eyed every corner with suspicion, waiting to be ambushed with good tidings, but arrived at his destination without further incident. Delia was in the front garden, tugging on weeds that had tangled up her white picket fence. Her wide brimmed hat tipped up and revealed a mildly sunburned and pleasantly recognizable face, although noticeably changed by the last five years.

"Green!" Delia said."Haven't seen you in forever, come on in."

She pulled off her gloves and walked toward the propped open front door of her house. Green followed slowly. He hadn't been in Red's house for more than a decade, and felt apprehension from an unknown source rush through his body. 

The color of the walls was the same, a bright, airy yellow. It still smelled like lemon scented furniture polish and sugar cookies, even though Red wasn't there to scuff the coffee table or munch on sweets while he read from the same Pokémon encyclopedia for the umpteenth time.

Delia tossed her gloves and hat into a wicker basket by the door and headed into the kitchen.

"I made some fresh cookies for Red," Delia called over her shoulder."They've been cooling down, so give me a minute to pack them up. You can sit in the living room if you'd like."

Green nodded even though she couldn't see him and awkwardly shuffled into the living room, treading softly as if the carpet were a sleeping Ursaring.

She'd moved things around, and the couch was new, but it was all still so achingly familiar. He remembered plucking at the same shag carpet he stood upon while watching Saturday morning cartoons. His eyes drifted over to the staircase.

Red's room.

Before he knew it, he'd crossed the living room and was running his hand over the polished wood of the staircase railing. He felt something heavy in his chest, something that demanded he stare at the sight of Red's bedroom door until his eyes burned.

"I've kept it the same," Delia said.

Green whipped around to see Delia standing in the kitchen door way holding an insulated lunch bag with an envelope balanced on top. She smiled softly, as if she understood what he was feeling, although he could not name it.

Swallowing the heavy feeling, Green stiffened his spine and went to Delia to take the bag from her.

"All those Pokémon posters are still up there, huh?" Green asked as nonchalantly as he could.

Delia laughed a little and handed him the bag.

"Peeling stickers and all," she said."Is this too much to carry up the mountain?"

He looked at Delia incredulously and lifted up the bag with ease to show how far from cumbersome it was. Delia palmed her cheek and tilted her head, an old tic he remembered well from his childhood. It was almost comforting to see it again so many years later. At least some things didn't change.

"I know you're older now, but this reminds me of when you and Red would take the tackle box to the inlet to fish," Delia said."You remember, right? It was too heavy for one of you to carry so I stuffed it in my shopping bag and you each took a strap and lugged it down to the water together."

Green cast his gaze down to his feet.

"I remember," Green looked back up at her and tried to smile."But I don't come up to your knee anymore, so I think I can handle this."

"Of course, of course," Delia said. "You're taller than I am now. And so handsome, too!"

Green didn't blush often, but Delia had managed the unlikely more than once in her lifetime and this wouldn't be the last time, either.

"Do you think Red is too...?" Delia mumbled."Taller than me now?"

Her fingers fiddled with the ends of her hair, and although she was looking expectant, she was staring somewhere over his shoulder. Like an illusion of Red was hovering over there, staring back at her.

"Well, I'm about to find out," Green said through a deep breath."But Delia, you remember how this went last time. I'm not so sure I can make him come back. Even for a weekend."

She smiled widely again, dispelling whatever cloud had settled over her, and patted the envelope.

"That's what this is for."

Mount Silver was stupidly cold, high, and uninhabitable. It took half his Pokémon team to make the climb even possible. Luckily, the system he'd worked out the first time he'd made the trek worked just as well five years later. He rode on Arcanine while Alakazam and Rhydon cleared the numerous obstacles in front of them. It was about as efficient as scaling Mount Silver could be, but Green still knew that at the rate they were going there was no way they could make it to Red's hideout and back down the mountain before dark.

He was going to have stay the night in Red's hermit cave and he was not looking forward to it. The lack of amenities alone was bound to ruin his entire week, and that was without counting the miasma of awkwardness that was bound to surround their reunion.

It was becoming dangerously hard to see in the encroaching darkness, but Green recognized the surrounding area well enough to know they were close. The fact that he had no clue what to say to Red when he saw him edged its way to the front of his mind.

What he'd told Delia was true. Maybe he was the only person available who could make it up Mount Silver to deliver the invitation, but he was probably the last person on earth who could convince Red to go anywhere. Any connection they'd had was already severed, and that was his fault.

It was hard to pinpoint the exact moment he realized his grandfather liked his friend more than Green himself. He'd settled on the idea that the revelation was a creeping sort of horror that had taken a few years to finally pounce on him.

At first, he thought it was great that Gramps treated Red so well. Everyone else in Pallet could stand to take some pointers. Delia, Daisy, and Green were the only people who took Red's dream of being a Pokémon Master seriously until Oak started to take an interest in the town's resident odd ball. Once he found out how attuned Red was to everything Pokémon related, he couldn't shower him with enough praise.

Maybe hearing it said to someone else was what made Green grasp that his grandfather never offered him the same encouragement.

Green had been feeling overlooked a while before the ultraball incident rolled around.

Ultraballs were still in development when Oak procured a few prototypes. One of them ended up broken and sitting on top of the overflowing recycling bin for defunct, but expensive, machinery. Green begged Oak for the ball. A catch rate higher than a great ball and less than two hundred currently in existence-it was what any burgeoning pokefanatic would want, even if it didn't work.

Oak said no at every turn. It was a prototype, it had to be disposed of so that nobody else could copy its schematics. It was too valuable to be on display in a ten year-old's bedroom, especially, Oak chided, a ten year-old as braggadocios as he was. Green promptly dropped the issue and fled from the lab, ears burning.

The ultraball was in Red's room two days later. He showed it to Green hoping his friend would think it was as cool he did. Red didn't know that Green had asked for it first. He wasn't trying to be hurtful. Green knew that, but it hurt nonetheless.

That was the only time Green ever cried in front of Red.

Alakazam smacked Green on the nose with his spoon. Being a psychic type, Alakazam could perform a bit of telepathy with his trainer. Green never heard words when Alakazam broadcasted his thoughts, it was more of a feeling. Right now he was getting the feeling that Alakazam was telling him that they had arrived, and he'd better get himself together already.

"Thanks," Green droned.

He dismounted Arcanine, feet thudding softly on the fresh fallen snow. The opening to Red's cave gaped in front of him. Green had a building sense of dread as he returned his Pokémon to their balls and took the first step into the cave.

The opening was much smaller than the inside. It probably kept the wind out and made the space warm and therefore livable, but it was a claustrophobe's worst nightmare. Green shuffled his way through the gap and stumbled into the cave. It was dark. The flittering light from the cave's narrow entrance did little to lift the curtain of blackness.

Green fumbled around in his pack for his key chain flashlight. The thin beam allowed him to see a makeshift bed in the corner and a fire pit directly in front of him. There were some roots in a metal pot next to the fire pit, soaking in water. It was enough to assure Green that Red still lived in the cave, so he had Arcanine relight the fire, sniffed the roots, gagged on the smell, and awaited Red's arrival.

It was easy for Green to make new friends. He'd always attracted follower types, but they never stuck around once they'd found another person to cling to. A person who wasn't friends with Red, who'd begun to hold his hands over his ears whenever the class began to chatter during down time. Red, who could memorize the DNA structure of a ditto but refused to read out loud in class and wasn't scoring very high on the exams despite how smart Green knew he was.

He'd always been quiet. He'd always kept to himself and didn't branch out. But it wasn't until Red was ten that the other kids began to earnestly call him a weirdo. A freak.

That was when Green began to pull away. Not for any one reason. To Green, there were many. He couldn't live his entire life with only one friend, let alone a friend whose presence constantly reminded him of his own short comings. Even though he was still taller by a fraction, Red had begun to make Green feel small. He hated that feeling, and simply alienating the person who inspired it wasn't enough.

Green would make jabs and jokes at Red's expense, and while everyone laughed Red would just stare at him and Green would feel...he would feel...

Green didn't realize he was falling asleep until he was jolted awake by a prodding in his shoulder. He blinked rapidly, eyes adjusting to the light of the fire. He was laying against Arcanine who was panting in a way he only did when he was excited.

Once the shapes in front of him began to make sense, a pair of dark maroon eyes, raised eyebrows, and brown messy hair came into view. 

There was another prod to his shoulder. Green sat up.

Red was crouched beside him, one hand scratching the underside of Arcanine's jaw and the other ready to poke Green again if need be. He had a mildly interested look on his face, but overall didn't seem to be too bothered to find Green passed out in his cave-home after not seeing him for five years.

"I brought cookies," Green said, voice rough from sleep.

Red nodded as if this was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who gave this work kudos so far! I don't really have an update schedule in mind for this fic. I have half of it already written, but it's turned out much longer than I intended when I set out to write it to who knows how long it'll be before I finish it. I hope some of you will keep coming back to see how it ends.
> 
> Comments would be greatly appreciated!


	3. Den of the Wild Man

**Chapter Three------** Den of the Wild Man

There was something unsettling about watching a wild man eat a sugar cookie decorated with heart sprinkles. Those were two worlds that just weren't meant to collide, but it was happening right in front of him, and by Arceus Green could not look away.

"Is it...good?" he asked.

Red paused mid nibble, looked up at Green, nodded gratefully, and then went back to chewing.

Pikachu was cuddled into Red's side, eating one of the special biscuits Delia had packed for her and all the other Pokémon. She held the biscuit up to her face with both paws and took fast, tiny bites. Her eyes sparkled with joy.

Green flitted his gaze back and forth between Red and Pikachu. The resemblance was uncanny.

"Sooooo," Green said, wincing at the echo it made.

Was that really what his voice sounded like?

"There's a reason I'm here, and it's not to bring you baked goods."

Red stuffed the last of his cookie in his mouth and signed with his hands.

_What else could there be?_

Green valiantly resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Well, I'll tell you buddy," Green said flatly."Pallet Town is hosting a festival to drum up business. The place hasn't been doing well, evidently. They want to be known for something besides us, I guess."

Green sneered at the mere thought of the dwindling town and let out a callous laugh. He leaned back on his hands while he surveyed Red's countenance. He was expressionless.

_And your grandfather._

"I suppose," Green frowned. "Anyway, it's the first one ever so Daisy's trying to put together some attractions that will raise interest-"

Red shook his head violently.

"How about you let me finish before you say no?"

Red kept shaking his head. Pikachu stopped eating and glared at Green. Suddenly afraid Red would give himself motion sickness and waste all of Delia's baking, Green relented.

"Okay, okay," he held his hands up in surrender."I wasn't thrilled either. The only reason I'm doing it is for Daisy. Here, this is from your mom."

Green reached into his backpack and pulled out the letter Delia had sent with the cookies. Red's name was scrawled in perfect cursive and red ink across the envelope. He handed it to Red, who took it as if he were handling fragile piece of glass.

Red carefully opened the envelope with the very tips of his fingers. He winced a little when the paper tore on the corner. His mouth was set in a tight line as eyes scanned the first few sentences. He promptly turned away and walked to his bedroll in the corner and sat with his back to Green for the next hour.

Green acted liked Red meant nothing to him until he himself believed it. Soon the scathing words he never would have uttered a few short years ago rolled off his tongue with ease. Red stopped coming to his house, knowing Green would just send him away with a cutting remark and a haughty laugh. Red became a shadow in the corner of Green's life. Sometimes he didn't even seem real.

This came back to bite Green later, because in his effort to forget how insignificant Red made him feel, he'd forgotten exactly why Red _could_ make him feel that way. Their first battle may have been a fluke, but the second and third ones brought back his old insecurities in wave after crushing wave.

Green couldn't understand it. He balanced his team perfectly, only kept the strongest of the Pokémon he caught, was always one step ahead of Red, and yet somehow Red always beat him. Soundly.

And then, just a year into his journey, Green had done the impossible. He'd achieved his greatest dream and become the region's youngest champion in history. He thought the spell had finally lifted. He thought that the next time he fought Red he would win, because everything was finally going his way. Gramps would finally get it and see how blind he'd been for fourteen years. He would apologize and tell Green that he was proud of him, and Green was in the position of being able to decide if he wanted to forgive him or not. At that point, he could finally afford not to. Green had beaten the League in his first year as a trainer and no one could take that away.

Except Red of course.

Green didn't even get to be champion for an hour. It had barely sunk in. Daisy and Gramps were still on their way to congratulate him. There was nothing in the press yet. Nobody back home would know he was the youngest champion in Kanto history until he wasn't anymore.

Red was two months younger and better in every way.

When Oak did arrive, he hardly spared a glance to Green before singing Red's praises in front of the Elite Four and a gaggle of reporters.

"I always knew he would do great things," Oak said to Agatha. "He's wanted this since he was little. It was his dream to meet all of you and be champion. To be a Pokémon master!"

Oak grinned from ear to ear and patted Red on the back. The photographers took a picture. Green knew it would be on the front page of whatever magazine that person worked for as fast as they could get in on the press.

"It was my dream, too," Green mumbled.

"Hrm?" Oak turned to him."Did you say something?"

Oak peered down at him with minimal interest. His eyes seemed almost hollow. Green rushed forward and shoved Oak hard enough to send him into Red's side, which hadn't been intentional, but felt pretty good.

"It was my dream too!" Green shouted."Why do you think I'm just screwing around? If I'm such a worthless trainer, why'd you ask me to fill up this stupid thing?"

He unclipped the Pokedex from his belt and threw it on the ground. He wished that it shattered into a million pieces, but the screen only cracked. Green stomped away before anyone could tell he was about to cry. Or maybe scream or thrash or crumble. The only thing he was sure of was that something had to give.

Green decided that one hour was enough time for Red to ruminate on whatever was in Delia's letter. Sometimes Red got "stuck" and needed to be brought back into reality. Green had seen it so many time he swore he could see Red rewinding and replaying an imaginary film in his head.

Grabbing the tin of sugar cookies, Green walked over to Red and plopped down beside him. He was halfway onto Red's bedroll and willed himself not to think about how dirty it probably was.

Red was still staring at the letter, but he clearly wasn't reading it anymore. Pikachu was sitting on his shoulder, tail wound firmly around his neck. Ignoring her ire at his presence, Green slowly raised the tin under Red's nose and moved it back and forth.

"Cookie for the wild man?"

No response.

"Baked with love."

Zilch.

Green narrowed his eyes thoughtfully and took a cookie for himself. He wasn't sure what would snap Red out of his impromptu meditation session. He didn't have any Pokémon trading cards or hotdogs, which were two of Red's favorite things. Actually, it had been so long that Green wasn't sure he still liked either of those. All he had to work with were sweets. Daisy's muffins might work. After all, he had _both_ blueberry and chocolate.

Green took a bite of his cookie. Crunchy on the edges, yet delightfully soft in the middle. How did Delia do it?

"Yo, Pikachu, does Red like blueberry or-"

He looked up to address Pikachu only to find Red had turned his attention to Green and was staring at him with the intensity of a thousand burning suns. Well, not at Green's face. At his shoulder, which had he had unknowingly eased into Red's while he was contemplating muffins.

"Oh, sorry," Green said, righting himself.

Red shook his head rapidly.

_It's okay. It's fine._

"Alright, then... So, why'd you go blank on me there?"

Red held up the letter before placing it back into his lap to free his hands.

_I made my mom sad._

"Well, duh," Green said.

Red's posture sunk, but Green wasn't going to let up on him.

"You've been on a mountain she can't climb for ten years, of course she's gonna miss the hell out of you."

_I didn't think about that. I had no idea it's been so long._

"I'm calling bullshit on that one, buddy. I told you last time I was here that it had been five years since anyone saw you, and now it's been another five. Just one year is too long to go without saying something."

Red began to fiddle with the frayed edge of his t-shirt. Green recognized that shirt as one of two he'd brought up the mountain five years ago. It was both stretched out and too small for him at the same time.

"Look, you messed up. Just go see your mom. I don't get why you're caging yourself up here, but I promise I won't stop you from coming back."

Red appeared unsure.

"Not like I could if I wanted to," Green glumly added.

Red raised his hands to say something but Green quickly place one of his own over them and gently stilled the movement.

"Don't," Green said firmly as he retracted his hand. "So you coming back, or what?"

_I want to see Mom. But there will be so many people._

"Is that why you're up here? To avoid people?"

Red tilted his hand back and forth in a noncommittal gesture. Once he took notice of them, Green couldn't stop looking at Red's hands. Rough and calloused, nails broken short instead of clipped, and bigger and stronger than his own. Mount Silver was tough mistress, he supposed.

Red had grown a beard, which wasn't as long or ill-kempt as Green would have expected. It was less feral mountain man and more near sighted lumber jack who lost his glasses. His hair was getting to be on the long side, but he obviously had some way to cut it or it would be to his waist by then.

Delia would be happy to hear that Red had avoided dire malnutrition, because Green could personally attest that the dude was huge. Looking down at their thighs resting side by side made that very clear. He'd put on a lot of muscle roughing it on the mountain.

Red was always a bit on the small side when they were young. He'd started to catch up in their preteens, but somehow Green had never considered that one day he'd be peering up at his old friend rather than looking down. In more ways than just literally.

Green cleared his throat.

"So, if it's not the general populace, are you trying to avoid _someone_ in particular?"

Shaking his head, Red shifted his position to face Green, who followed suit.

_Not you._

Green let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Okay, good to know. I mean, it would really suck if you went all the way up this mountain to avoid me just for me to keep following you here."

Red exhaled a puff of air through his nose, which was his version of a polite laugh.

_It's good to see you, Green._

Names signs were different for everyone. There was no universal way to sign the name "Green", save spelling it out one letter at a time. Red decided very early on that Green's sign name was the same one as the word "friend," with the letter "G" as a prefix. Young Green, in all his self-centeredness, didn't bat an eyelash when Red wore his heart on his sleeve by giving him that name.

The heavy feeling he had when staring up at Red's bedroom door returned in full force, mysterious and not to be ignored.

"It's been a while," Green murmured. "Look, I wasn't thrilled about the festival either, but Daisy's really convinced this could change the town for the better. Your mom's restaurant would get more business."

Red looked surprised.

_What?_

"Oh, you didn't know she opened one?"

Red didn't even bother to shake his head, he just looked at Green like his whole life was a lie. Delia must not have put that information in the letter. Green wanted to smack himself.

"Yeah, it's been four years now. She's got nothing but good reviews. Not enough customers, though. Had to let a lot of staff go, and she's basically running it herself, or so I hear." 

Red tugged down his hat to cover his face. Green bent his neck to look under the bill and catch Red's eyes. He appeared deceptively stoic.

"Hey..." Green began, but he wasn't really sure what to say.

He just knew he wanted to comfort Red somehow. Delia had talked about opening a restaurant for forever. It was a dream of hers, and Red had missed it coming true.

Red's eyes suddenly snapped to attention. He leaned in close and signed so quickly Green had trouble following.

_I'll go. Not just to see Mom. I'll do what Daisy asks._

"Really? That's great! Honestly I wasn't expecting you to-"

Green's nose bumped against Red's. It dawned on him how close they'd gotten. Red's breath disturbed the locks of hair that framed Green's face. It tickled. It was so warm; a stark contrast to the freezing air around them. Red was warm too, and Green could feel heat radiating off his body. Red's eyes had been serious while he declared his intentions, but now they were more lax. Comfortable even, despite the fact that he'd never been fond of touching people and he hadn't had his personal space invaded in five years. His pupils flared.

"Casual" was not a word that could be used to describe the way Green jerked away from Red, although it had been what he was aiming for. He took pains to rise up more slowly than usual and struck a pose that he hoped read as carefree.

"Soooo..."

The cave's walls reverberated with Green's shaky voice as if to mock him. He frowned again.

"We'll set out at dawn, yeah? I don't want to stay here longer than strictly necessary. I'm meant for more tropical climates."

Red had no hint of appearing either flustered or confused by Green's behavior and simply nodded for the billionth time. Green went about setting up his sleeping bag on the opposite side of the cave and felt Red's eyes on his back the whole time. He plopped down on the insulated bedding, and immediately wished he'd brought a fluffier one. His back often hurt even after sleeping in his soft, cozy bed and he wasn't even thirty.

"Before I turn in I have a very important question," Green said."How do you trim your beard up here?"

Red cocked his head and smiled, amused.

_Venusaur's razor leaf._

Green didn't quite get it.

"Huh, I didn't know those leaves were still sharp after they land."

_They're not. You have to dodge just right._

Green's blood ran cold, and he went on to have a very specific nightmare that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boy Red has been through it, and it's all his own fault. I personally think Red is like six feet tall and Green is 5'9, any thoughts on that?
> 
> If I've incorrectly portrayed naming customs for ASL, please let me know. All I have is the internet, and that's not always right. Thank you for all the kudos so far, and for the comment on the last chapter. There will be a longer wait for the next update :).


	4. Breaking and Entering (with Good Intentions)

**Chapter Four------** Breaking and Entering (with Good Intentions)

They landed in the forest just outside of Pallet. Dropping Red off right in front of his house would raise too much of an alarm, and he was not equipped to deal with the entire town being on his case after ten years of solitude. And, quite frankly, Green was not about to let Delia see him looking like he did. Red thought he was overreacting, so Green asked him when the last time he looked in a mirror was and he promptly dropped it.

The first stage of the operation was to make Red presentable, but that would require a shower and new clothes.

_So what's the plan?_

Green rubbed his chin thoughtfully. His old house was no good. Gramps might be home and their only shower was in the hall next to the living room. Sneaking into it unseen would be difficult. But Red's old room had bathroom built on, and Delia would be busy at the restaurant at that point in the afternoon.

"I got it," Green said with a snap of his fingers."We have to break into your mom's house."

Red gave Green a thumbs up.

It just so happened that Venusaur wasn't only good for battling and shaving his brilliant disaster of a trainer. He was also very adept at using his vines to raise people up to second story windows and enabling them to break into the houses of unsuspecting single mothers.

All in all, he was building quite a resume.

Red's old room was dark even with the light from the open window. Green tripped on a rug just in time for Red to flick on the lights and see. He had the audacity to chuckle.

"Okay, _pal_ ," Green hissed."First things first, take a shower. I'll run down to the store and get you some clothes. Be back in a jiff."

Red gave him another thumbs up.

"Stop that."

Green had made a critical oversight in his hurried plan. Pallet Town had a woeful amount of clothing boutiques. The only store close to Delia's house that sold men's apparel was the Kaneda Stop and Shop, which was more of a general store than a place to find fashionable clothes but if Red could make it five years on two t-shirts and some sweat pants he could make it one weekend with whatever the Kaneda's had in stock.

The only real trick was just who happened to be minding the store that day. Green hoped it would be the Kaneda's somewhat air headed grandson. Alas, when he pushed open the door to the sound of a bell chiming, the person who greeted him was none other than Mrs. Kaneda herself.

"Welcome," she said.

Green froze at the sight of her. Nobody but Delia and Daisy knew Green had headed up the mountain and retrieve Red from Mount Silver, but he wouldn't put it past Mrs. Kaneda to miraculously deduce that the most famous trainer in Kanto had returned to walk among mere mortals again. That couldn't happen before Delia got her time alone with him, so Green would have to avoid doing something that might tip Mrs. Kaneda off.

"Afternoon," Green nodded as he scurried to the back of the shop and away from her prying eyes.

Green inspected the racks of clothing critically. A t-shirt was easy enough to pick out. Red wouldn't fuss over the plain design and it didn't matter if it wasn't quite the right fit either. He'd made due with far worse. Green chose a shirt one size up from his best estimate about Red's size just to be sure it went over his head. He might still grow into it if it was too big, Green mused. He certainly wasn't that tall or broad the last time Green saw him, although he had been nineteen at the time.

The pants were trickier. All the Kaneda's had in stock were jeans without adjustable waist bands, unlike the more forgiving sweat pants Delia had sent up with Green five years ago. He held up a pair against his waist and looked in the mirror, imagining Red standing beside him. The jeans were more for Green's height and build. No way they would fit Red.

"Lucky bastard got a second growth spurt," Green muttered.

"Can I help you?"

Green flinched as his blood pressure spiked once again. Fuck Pallet Town.

In the mirror's reflection he could see Mrs. Kaneda standing behind him, arms folded behind her back.

"Uh, no?"

Mrs. Kaneda's large eyes scanned over his face.

"That shirt looks a little big for you," she said.

That observation was unnerving for several reasons. Firstly, the shirt was folded under his arm so there was no way she could see how large it was and secondly, she hadn't even glanced at it in the first place.

"I like a loose fit," he said with an edge of hostility.

She raised a grey eyebrow to let him know he was full of shit. All of Green's clothes fit him perfectly. He was too vain to wear anything that hid his figure.

They stood like that, just staring, for at least a full minute. Green could feel himself beginning to sweat as she stared him down and it occurred to him that never once in his life had he seen Mrs. Kaneda blink.

"Well then," she said, and walked away.

Once she had disappeared behind the rows of shelves, Green allowed his shoulders to sag with relief. He took a wild guess at Red's pant size and hoped for the best. He only need to wear them long enough for Delia smother him with tens years worth of coddling and concern. After that, he could get different ones at one of the nicer boutiques in Pallet or Green could take him shopping in Celadon.

Celadon would be a revelation for Red. It had all changed so much since he'd last been there driving Team Rocket out of their ultra secret lair before he could even shave. Sure, Red wasn't big on crowds but maybe they could put some disguises together and make a day of it. Green turned toward the mirror and caught his reflection smiling dreamily at him.

No.

He forced his mouth into a neutral line.

He couldn't do any of that. Even if it wasn't completely unrealistic, which it was knowing Red's borderline agoraphobia, it wouldn't be fair of him. A day of running around clandestine while seeing the sights, just the two of the them? A day like that would be almost like a -

There had been whispers about a mysterious trainer on Mount Silver for a couple of years by the time Green found out it was Red. He'd been clued in by Leaf, who beat all his gym trainers just to deliver the message. It would seem like a lot of trouble to anyone who didn't know her, but she hadn't even broken a sweat.

Leaf was just that good. She already had Green's badge and a champion title, and had no reason to come back to the Viridian Gym, except for a rematch.

Or to deliver news pertaining to the whereabouts of his old rival who had been MIA for five years. Either or.

"Does Delia know?"

It was his first question, but not his first thought. His first thought was what a relief it was to hear he was actually alive. Five years without so much as a postcard was too long to hold thoughts of the worst case scenario at bay. The fear crept in every now and again, often when Green was replaying over and over how he would do things differently. How he would at least say _something_ this time, if he only the a chance to do it over.

"No, you should be the one to tell his family," Leaf said."It would be more comforting to hear it from you, I think."

Green stiffened.

"Delia would want to talk to the person who actually saw him," he insisted.

"I told you the story. You know everything I do."

Leaf had followed the rumors of the ultimate Pokémon trainer all the way up to the summit of Mount Silver. She'd been that desperate for someone to pose a challenge to her skills. Green was a competitive person to a fault, but even he wouldn't go so far. Whatever it was that made Red so driven- Leaf had the same stuff in her veins, too.

"You can leave out the part where he kicked my ass, though," she added.

"That's really not the most significant detail here," he said.

Leaf laughed. He envied that she could be so carefree.

"I'll do it."

"Great," Leaf said with little ceremony. She hadn't really given him an option to say no, after all.

"While I'm here, do you want a rematch?"

A battle might help him relieve some stress, so he agreed. She beat him again, by a narrow margin, but she was definitely better than she was two years ago. It crossed his mind that if he still couldn't beat Leaf, there was no way he'd win against Red.

Even after so many years it still bothered him, an itch at the base of his spine. He thought he was learning how to be a graceful loser. Losing to worthy trainers was part of his job. Nineteen may be young to be a gym leader, but it was too old to be a sore loser, he'd decided. And to be running from responsibilities.

Delia fell to her knees the instant Green told her Red was alive. She was sobbing as Green told her Leaf's story, urged him to keep going even though he offered her some time to collect herself.

"He's just _living_ up there?" Delia asked."On the top of a mountain?"

Not just any mountain. The mountain with the coldest temperatures and strongest Pokémon in all of Kanto, but Green chose to omit those details to save her some sleep. Instead, he pushed the fact that Leaf said he looked healthy.

Delia kept asking questions about how Red could possibly be living comfortably on Mount Silver, but not necessarily to Green. Mostly to the air around her or to any divine force that might be passing through her living room to hear her anguish. Eventually, she stood up with a fiery determination in her eyes and announced that her son would need some more supplies if he was going to be staying on the mountain, and also something about needing lots of rope.

"Whoa, you can't go up there Delia," Green said."It took the likes of Leaf to get up there and she's not the first to try. Besides, why would you want to help him stay up there away from you and all his friends?"

Her entire demeanor shifted to a deceptive calmness. Something that had long been suppressed lurked under the surface of the still, thrashing about.

"He's only ever had one friend that I know of."

Damn, if words could kill.

"I heard that Brock took a liking to him," Green offered, timid.

"Plenty of people take a shine to Red, but for all the wrong reasons. Certainly, my son is gifted when it comes to raising Pokémon, to understanding them, but he's a _person_ before all of that. He's just a boy."

Delia sunk her face into her hands as if she was about to start crying again. Green stood, but wasn't sure what to do. His hands floundered in the air while he willed himself to think of something that could ease her mind. In the end, there was only one thing that could.

"I'll go after him."

Green burst out of Kaneda's Stop and Shop as if he were fleeing from a brigade of cops and not his own stupid feelings. His own stupid, silly feelings that didn't have names because knowing himself well enough to describe his emotions succinctly would mean, well, just that. He'd put a lot of effort into buying his own bullshit and he wasn't going to put all that to waste just because Red was back for a measly, messy weekend.

On the way back to Delia's, he put all his mental energy into looking as nonchalant as possible and ignored any thought that wasn't centered on the breeziest way to put one foot in front of the other. He made it back to the house with only one encounter hindering his progress. It was a young boy, no more than eleven, that asked him if he remembered their battle. Green said of course and ruffled the boy's hair, even though he actually had no clue. The boy grinned, front tooth missing and stretching the band aid across his nose, and asked Green for a picture. Green obliged and the boy ran off shouting about how jealous his sister would be that he saw Green before she did.

Daisy was right once again. Children weren't wary of him and his notoriously difficult gym battles. They looked up to him.

Green crept around to the back of the house, making sure nobody was watching him. He was about to send out Pigeot for a lift up to the second story when he realized that he forgot to get an electric razor for Red's patchy beard. It was too long to shave with just the razor he had in his plastic shopping bag.

"Damn, this a lot of work," Green groaned.

But it was for Delia, and he had to admit it would be nice to see what Red looked like all cleaned up. More like his old self, one could hope. More like he used to be.

Green cast a glance at the house next door. His old house. Daisy's house, and Gramps occasional place to grab a slice of toast and disappear from for days on end. When Green packed a bag for the weekend, he'd left it in his old room rather than pay for a hotel room for just his suitcase to sit in. Luckily, he'd had the foresight to bring all of his shaving supplies with him, so he could skip the extra trip down to the Stop and Shop and Mrs. Kaneda's keen gaze.

Also lucky, his room was on the first story and the window wasn't locked. Green frowned at that. He would have to make sure the place was sealed up properly before he left. Daisy lived alone after all. An old man like Gramps couldn't be counted on to scare off an intruder and that was if he was even home. He cracked open the window and slid into the room as silently as possible on the creaky floors.

Green tripped on a rug.

"For the love of...!"

He caught himself on the ancient rocking Rapidash Daisy claimed she was keeping for her own someday children. His entire room had been made into a catch-all for items and furniture that Daisy couldn't quite part with. Sentimental to a fault, she was. The graying red paint of Rapidash's mane crumbled off onto his palm. Dusting off his hands on his thighs, he peered around the dim room and saw his suitcase by the desk, just as he'd left it.

He flipped the case on its side and unzipped it to find the green and yellow checkered bag he kept all his shaving supplies and moisturizer in. When he had it in hand, he turned back toward the window, paying special attention to what was under his feet.

There was a loud crash behind him. Green turned to look and was blinded by the bright light of the hall illuminating the now open door way. A figure charged at him, holding something high above their head. Their features were indistinguishable in the split seconds it took for his eyes to adjust to the light. The voice, however, was instantly recognizable.

"Who do you think you are breaking into my house?"

The figure swiped at Green's head, but he caught the arm that swung what turned out to be a Mr. Mime shaped desk lamp with ease.

"Your fucking grandson!"

He reached over the tangle of arms to flick the light switch on the lamp. His grandfather's face was bathed in yellow light pouring from Mr. Mime's mouth and eyes.

"Oh, Green," Oak said."You're back."

"Yeah, I'm back," Green said giving the lamp and the man attached to it a slight shove.

Oak turned around to switch on the lights and Green took a long, steeling breath for whatever what was about to happen. There was really no telling with Gramps.

"Why did you break in through the window? What's wrong with the front door"

Oak pointed over Green's shoulder at the cracked window pane.

"To avoid detection."

Green said it as if that were obvious. Oak crossed his arms over his chest and furrowed his brows.

"Would it really be so horrible for us to have a conversation? You haven't been home in years."

"You haven't left home in years," Green countered."You're not too old to take a bus."

He spun on his heel toward the window, hoping his biting tone would halt all dialogue. Sadly, Green and Oak were cut from the same soiled, petty cloth.

"I've really had enough of your whataboutisms, it was careless of you to go so long without popping in," Oak stomped after him."Is it such agony to admit you've got a few flaws?"

Green had one leg out the window when his neck snapped back to Oak so fast it had to have been involuntary.

" _I've_ got a few flaws?!"

"Oh, he's yelling," Oak said flatly."What a surprise. Honestly, Green, there's no need to raise your voice."

Green's eye twitched. Pressure built up in his rib cage. No matter how many times they had it out, Green never got to say his piece. Never got to say the things that really made him feel the way he did, the things that were so raw and near his weak spots he couldn't dare to expose them to man who would only insist Green had no right to feel them. How could he win against a mentality like that? He couldn't.

Resentments, accusations, and comebacks all crawled their way up his throat and one by one he ground them down to dust with his teeth. 

"You're so-ugh! You know what? Forget it. Forget you. For the sake the festival let's just avoid each other like grown men, huh? I'm outta here. Smell ya-"

"Why is it so hard for you to give me some of your time? You know I haven't got much of my own left, so let's just talk while we can."

"The 'I'm old and near death' card? Really, Gramps?"

Oak stiffened. Jaw clenched, spine went straight, and fists curled at his side, he took a deep breath.

"Why did you say it like that?" Oak said, voice tight."It's the truth. The cold, bitter truth and you act like I orchestrated my own failing health to trap you."

It seemed that Green had finally hit a nerve, or maybe a heart. He couldn't quite take the misty sheen in Oak's eyes and dropped his gaze to the floor, guilty.

"Please, get back in the house," Oak asked.

Green stalled. His pulse thudded against his ear drums. Whatever was about to happen, he wasn't ready for it. He wasn't ready to feel sorry for him.

"Green, come on," Oak's frustration laced his words."I deserve ten minutes. I raised you."

Air shoved its way out of Green in sour, angry laugh. Or rather something that might be mistaken for one. Looking at Green's face, one would know there was not one hint of joy or dark amusement in the sound. It was the inclination to mock and spit at the absurd that spawned it.

He pulled the rest of his body through the window and glowered at Oak from the other side of the glass.

"Daisy raised me."

He slammed the window shut. Patience was not a virtue either of them had ownership of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Red and Green interaction in the next chapter, promise. Had to set some stuff up :).
> 
> Thank you soooooo much for all the feedback on the last chapter! You guys are great, I hope you'll keep reading until the end!


	5. One More Look

**Chapter Five---** One More Look

Green didn't trip on Red's rug this time, but mentally he felt like he'd skinned his knees and was struggling to get back on his feet. 

Pikachu was curled up on Red's bed. One of her long ears perked up at the sound of Green dragging his feet across the floor.

They looked at each other, both tired but for different reasons and in different ways. Pikachu seemed to realize that Green's tired was a bit more volatile than hers, and flipped herself to face away from him. At least the mouse had some tact.

Green stomped his way to the bathroom door and pressed his forehead to the white painted wood. He opened his mouth to announce his return, but heard the shower still running and somehow that managed to piss him off.

"Red, I'm back! How are you still in the shower?"

Green waited a moment, seething, before it dawned on him that Red couldn't reply unless Green could see him. He palmed his face as he heard the water shut off.

Red opened the door, but didn't look at Green. He squinted at something in the room behind him while Green was desperate to look at anything but the wet, half naked person in front of him. His eyes settled on a smudge on the wall. It kind of looked like Blaine.

Red pointed to the desk by his bed, where an alarm clock was placed.

_You've only been gone for thirty minutes._

Green blinked with surprise.

"Seriously?"

He turned and looked at the clock to confirm and sure enough, Red was right. He did some quick division on his fingers while Red looked on in interest.

"Thirty minutes, wow," Green muttered."That's only three point four minutes in each circle of hell. Gotta be a record."

He could practically see the question marks floating around Red's head.

"I had a bad time while I was out," Green clarified."A hellish time, really."

_I'm sorry._

"Not your fault," Green said after a pause."Anyway, are you ready to shave that beard? 'Cause I'm tired of looking at it."

Red looked a tad offended and wiped that steam from the mirror to look at himself. There was a look of shock followed by near immediate acceptance.

_Yikes._

Green nodded gravely and began rolling up his sleeves.

"You're more than a little rough around the edges, my friend, but with my skills and a smidge of elbow grease you'll be in coddling condition in no time at all."

Red gave Green a thumbs up.

Red sat on the closed toilet seat while Green snipped at his overgrown hair. Red wore only a towel wrapped around his waist, running his fingers over his newly smooth chin. Teaching him to shave made Green feel like he was in the right timeline again. If he and Red had stayed friends, if Red hadn't fucked off to the highest peak he could find, Green would have been the one to teach him how to pull the skin of his neck taut so he wouldn't knick himself. They'd have probably learned together.

Green was positioned in between the toilet and the tub, attempting to get the back of Red's hair even. The arrangement was killing his spine but at least he could focus on the pain instead of Red's naked back and the two freckles that dotted a shoulder blade each. They had been there since he was a child.

Red held his hands up and began to sign.

_It doesn't have to be perfect._

"No," Green agreed."But it does have to be something."

Red puffed a small laugh. Green smiled at how soft the sound was. It didn't suit a man of his size. He wondered if his speaking voice would be gentle like his laugh, or rough from disuse. He would probably never find out. He reminded himself it was pointless to imagine.

He combed Red's hair with his fingers, trying to straighten it. All he accomplished was reaffirming how coarse Red's hair was, and how it didn't feel unpleasant despite the roughness.

Green hazarded a few more snips and one more superfluous finger combing before calling it quits.

"Alright, it's finished."

Green stepped out in front of Red and pulled him to the mirror. He presented Red to himself with a flourish of his arms.

"My masterpiece."

Red was looking more at Green than himself, smiling with teeth that shouldn't be as white as they were. The sparkle in his eyes was downright affectionate and Green didn't know how to process that.

"What do you think?" He pointed Red's attention to the mirror.

_It looks good. You did a good job._

Green frowned.

"You haven't even looked at yourself yet."

Red puffed out his cheeks, evidently upset that Green wouldn't take the compliment and tossed a fleeting glance at his reflection.

_It looks good. You did a good job._

Green rolled his eyes in good fun and stood next to Red in the mirror, appraising their reflections. Red finally looked like the older version of the boy he always knew. With his ashy brown hair trimmed short, his maroon eyes were no longer hidden behind fringe. Red had Blank-Face Syndrome since the day of his birth, but his eyes had the sharpness of someone who was always observing.

The biggest difference, besides his height, was the shape of his face. He'd had something of a baby face growing up; round with full, downright pinch-able cheeks. Now, his jaw line seemed nearly square and unmistakably masculine without the beard to obscure it.

"I did do a good job," Green nodded."Dare I say you might get a few looks at the festival?"

He raised his eyebrows suggestively. Red's face went back to being neutral. 

"Oh, come on! Don't you feel handsome?"

Red's mouth twitched

 _Do_ you _think I'm handsome?_

Red had an earnestness about him that made Green feel like not answering him would have the same effect on his karma as kicking a puppy.

"Um, yeah, dude. I do."

Red's Adam's apple bobbed, determination settling in his feature. Green had a sense of apprehension that was soon justified by what Red began to sign.

_I think that you're-_

"Anyway," Green turned his back to Red."Better wash off the loose hair. Your clothes are in the brown paper bag by your desk. I'll be downstairs."

Green all but fled out of the room. He bounded down the stairs two at a time.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck."

He leapt over the back of Delia's couch, landing on his stomach. He buried his face in a decorative pillow and tried not to scream.

"That idiot. That dumbass. That stupid, stupid..."

Why hadn't he given up on him?

Green wandered the Indigo Plateau into nightfall. He felt like he wasn't real, like he was a mere specter of something that used to be alive. The cool breeze that washed over the highlands seemed to flow through him instead of around him. The persona of prodigious talent and smirking rebellion he wore like armor cracked and crumbled off of him, scattering to dust in his wake.

Maybe that was how Red found him. He must have followed his misery like bread crumbs. A vulture.

"Can you lay off of me for two seconds!" Green shouted at Red's approaching figure.

Red didn't say anything, but kept coming closer. Against the pitch backdrop of the rolling plains, underneath countless stars, he look absolutely miniscule. Helpless to the will of the void. It would have been nice to see Red looking insignificant if Green didn't know that from Red's point of view, he looked the same way.

"Do you really think I want to see you right now?"

Red stopped. He looked down at his feet, then up at Green, and continued onward.

Green dug his nails into his palms and strode quickly to meet him halfway. Green repeated himself, shouting in his face.

"I don't want to see you right now!"

_You can't stay out here. It's dangerous._

Green laughed.

"Nothing's dangerous for someone like me."

_All your Pokémon are with Nurse Joy._

"I'll be fine, leave."

Red shook his head, resolute.

"I don't want to look at you!" Green screeched."I'll never want to look at you again, you make me sick! I hate you! Why can't you just take a hint? I've been tossing them at your head for years. Get a clue, moron!"

He reached out and shoved Red hard enough to knock him back a couple of steps. Red didn't appear surprised, but his chin wobbled and his lip quivered. It only made Green angrier.

_If you hate me so much, then you'd better go back to the League. Because I'm not leaving your side until you're safe._

"You always gotta be the hero, huh? That's what this is about. You don't care about me, you just want to look good for the cameras."

_I care about you, Green, not the cameras. I hate the cameras._

A voice deep inside Green reminded him that this was true, Red had never craved attention like he did, but the roar of the breaking dam that held him together for fourteen years drowned the voice out along with all other objections.

"Well, I hate you, so maybe save all your almighty compassion for someone who actually likes you."

_You used to like me._

"No, I tolerated you. Because I felt bad for you. That's not the same thing. And I'm telling you once and for all-"

Green grabbed Red's collar and yanked his face to his own.

"-get out of my sight."

Red flicked his eyes all over Green's face. He mouthed something.

"Say that again, you bastard. I'm warning you."

Red dared to repeat himself.

_You're lying._

Green shoved Red into the ground. Red winced upon impact and inspected his hand. Blood dripped onto his leg from a cut on his hand. A small rock shone black and slick next to him.

Green felt his stomach turn at the sight. Cold water drenched his rage from his head to his toes. The air chilled his skin. He didn't mean to go that far, but part of him still clung to his indignation. His mouth didn't move to form an apology, although that same voice from before whispered one.

Red's face was blank, processing. Then came the scowl, and then the bared teeth. 

Red launched off the ground and tackled Green with all his weight, sending them both down. He straddled Green, who was too shocked to move an inch.

He watched as Red's face contorted into something he had never seen on another person, but had felt many times before.

Red slammed his hands to the ground on either side of Green's head. Over and over, he thumped against the damp earth, mouth open in a near silent shout, tears falling freely from his eyes.

The last time Green had heard a hint of Red's voice was when he'd fallen out of a tree and cracked a rib. He couldn't stop the small yelp of pain. It was primal. Even now, it wasn't in his control.

"Ugh...uhh!"

One final thump, and Red curled over, resting his weight on his forearms. His head settled in the crook of Green's neck. He could feel him shaking, his stomach was still turning, and two things were at the front of his many racing thoughts:

Red only used his voice when he was in pain, and Green was always there when he was hurt.

He lifted his hands to Red's shoulder, intent on stabilizing his tremors only to find that his own hands were shaking too.

"R-Red, c'mon...it's alright now. I'll stop yelling."

No response.

"I'll go back with you, okay?"

Red's nails scrapped the dirt. Green swore he could feel it on his skin.

"I'm sorry, Red."

A sob.

"Red, please-"

Red pulled his head away from Green, but only for a second, because the next thing he knew Red pressed his mouth to his.

It was safe to say that Green had never been so surprised in his short life, but when he mulled it over at a later time, it all made perfect sense. Green was Red's first everything, whether or not he deserved the honor.

It wasn't much of a kiss. Neither of them moved any part of their bodies. Red didn't know what to do, and Green knew only a little more on the subject himself. It was over when Red ran out of breath and pulled away with a gasp. He frantically searched Green's face for a reaction, but found nothing but carefully closed off eyes, unwilling to let him see deeper.

Red sat up, still on top of Green, and shoved his face in his hands. Green sat up as well, and rested his forehead against Red's shoulder.

"Hey, now, that's enough crying..."

He rubbed Red's back in small, comforting circles, but this only made him sob again.

"It's okay, I'm not mad."

Red shook his head rapidly, but did not give any hint as to what he was trying to refute.

Green made a rip in his shirt with his teeth and wrapped the frayed cloth around Red's hand while he wiped away tears that would not stop with his other. He started back the way he came, and Red, as always but perhaps for the last time, followed him.

Green arrived back at the League three hours after he'd left, with Red in tow. Neither had said a word for the trek back. Their entrance set off some kind of alarm among the staff. They must have looked like hell. Red's hand was still oozing blood and Green's shirt was stained with it. Green was led in one direction and Red in the other. He allowed himself one more look at Red, just one more, and saw that he was already looking at him.

He got the feeling, had he taken off the blinders he'd donned out of jealousy, their eyes would have met more often in those last few, squandered years of his short cut youth. Perhaps then, he'd have caught on to what he really inspired in the closest friend he'd ever had.

Red looked away. That was the last time Green saw him for the next five years. 

The front door creaked open and Green heard a yawn. He sat up on the sofa abruptly which elicited a small gasp from Delia, although it probably should have been more of a scream.

Green gave Delia a casual wave.

"Hey."

"Green, welcome back!" Delia took hurried steps toward the couch, ringing her hands."Is he...?"

He pointed to the ceiling.

"Upstairs," he said with a semi-proud smile.

Her face lit up like the neon lights all around Lumiose City. He so often missed those lights, and he realized, the look of joy on her face.

Delia deserved to smile.

She smoothed down the fly-aways that were breaking free from her ponytail and yanked off her flour dusted button chef's jacket to show a clean t-shirt underneath.

"Okay, okay," she said."I'm ready."

Delia really wasn't the one who had to try to look presentable in this house.

He walked up the stairs and knocked on the door.

"Red, your mom's back," he said.

Green turned and rushed down the stairs to vacate Delia's first view of Red in ten years. The door creaked open. Red filled up the small crack in the between the door and the frame. The single maroon eye that Green could see scanned the room. Once his sight landed on Delia, the door swung fully open. Red hopped on the banister and slid down the same way he and Green used to do and then get chided for as children.

Red stopped just short of running Delia over, less than an arm's length away.

He was taller than her now, by a little more than a head. Delia looked rapt, a wobbly smile spread across her face.

She grabbed his shoulders firmly, Red couldn't stand light, fluttery sensations, and shook him gently.

"Red, look you," she whispered."So grown up."

Red nodded much longer than necessary as if he couldn't think of what else to do.

"Welcome home, baby boy."

Red kept nodding as he stooped down and tucked his face in Delia's neck. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and squeezed tight. She kept smiling even when a few stray tears made it down her chin.

Green shuffled his feet awkwardly. He got the feeling he should have just left the house and given them as much privacy as they wanted. He felt like an intruder.

"Do you want something to eat?" Delia asked."I have leftovers."

Red nodded more vigorously than before. Delia giggled with utter bliss as she pulled away, tossing her chef's jacket on the couch as she spun into the kitchen.

"Green, you have to stay for dinner," she called out."Invite Daisy, it'll be like old times!"

"Uhh..."

Green wasn't sure he should accept. Actually, he was certain he shouldn't. He relied on Delia for much of his youth to be the stand-in for the mother that didn't want him. For the proud smiles when he aced a test, and the forehead kisses when he scrapped his knees, and the bedtime stories he wished, deep down, he never got too old to hear. Delia rose to the occasion beautifully, and he repaid her by hurting the person she loved most in the world. Hell, he might be the reason Red went up the mountain to begin with, even if he wouldn't admit it.

He was trying very hard not to be selfish. It went against the grain of his base nature, but he was _trying_. Accepting an invitation to a dinner table he'd ruined would be like sledding down the hill he'd work so hard to climb, shouting with glee on the way to the bottom.

There were some things he just didn't get to have anymore.

"Thanks, Delia, but I was actually gonna check out what Daisy's done with the festival so-"

"Can't you do that later?" Delia poked her head out of the kitchen."How long is it going to be before we get another chance to be all together like this?"

In that moment, Red looked as guilty as Green felt. Maybe Red also felt like he didn't deserve his mother's attention after leaving her in a lurch for so many years. Maybe Red and Delia both needed somebody to grease the wheels before things went back to normal. Maybe staying wouldn't be a selfish move after all. Maybe it was all wishful thinking and he hadn't changed in the slightest and was still a self serving little bastard.

Any which way, Red and Delia both were looking at him expectantly and he figured he'd disappointed them enough already.

"Lemme give Daisy a call."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was nervous about putting up this chapter because it changes the context of a lot of previous interactions. That flashback is actually what this entire fic is based around. 
> 
> Special thanks to everyone to left kudos and commented on the last chapters, you guys are the best!


	6. Dinner and an Epiphany

**CHAPTER SIX----** Dinner and an Epiphany

"It was Machop," Daisy said through a mouth full of sweet potatoes.

"Nuh-uh." Green shook his head."It was Dragonair. Who would jump off a pier for a Machop?"

"Same guy who'd jump of a pier for any Pokémon card, duh!"

Daisy had a point there. She usually did, but this time it was a funny point instead of one that would inevitably force Green to be a better person than his destiny preordained.

"Ah, Calen," Delia said."He really wasn't too bright, was he?"

"Well, to be fair, he was only six years old at the time," Green added.

"He also used to push Red around, so I really don't feel too bad about daring him in the first place," Daisy said.

Daisy huffed indignantly and chomped down on her fork. So far, the evening had turned out alright. It was dark out and Delia lit some candles for the table. There was the scent of fresh baked dinner rolls in the air, and the ambiance was nice and homey. Daisy was a godsend when it came to keeping a conversation going, not that Green wasn't normally. He just felt a little out of his element. He pushed his food around his plate, already feeling full but not wanting to be rude. 

His eyes flicked up to Red, who was not so subtly feeding Pikachu bits off of his plate. Pikachu paid for every morsel with a grateful rub against Red's cheek, probably admiring how unprickly her trainer was now.

Green had never seen a closer bond between a trainer and their Pokémon. Eevee was Green's version of Pikachu, but he liked to spend alone time in his Pokeball and would rather nap than battle.

Red smiled as Pikachu chirped happily, tiny mouth stuffed with sweet potato. He cast a glance at Green. Their eyes met. Green became hyperaware of every part of his body and somehow the natural way he was relaxed in his chair didn't feel natural at all.

Red's chest inflated with a sharp intake of breath and his eyebrows creased. He looked lost somehow. Green could fix that, he thought. How easy it would be for Green to reach across the table and take Red's hand in his, anchoring them both to the moment and each other.

Instead, he raised one hand just high enough for Red to notice, but not draw attention to himself.

 _I'm right here,_ Green signed.

Red dropped the next bite of sweet potato intended for Pikachu, paused for a split second, and signed back.

_So am I._

Green wished he would prove it to him somehow. It all seemed real up until the current moment. But now, Red seemed fuzzy around the edges, like he was blending into the backdrop and if Green so much as blinked he would be gone again. Just like-

Green stood up.

"Bathroom, excuse me," he said.

He didn't bother to examine what were sure to be surprised faces at his sudden exit and made a beeline for the bathroom. Pressing his back to the door, Green took deep breath to release the tension building up in his chest, but the tightness wouldn't budge. He splashed some water on his face like they did in movies, but that didn't help either. Misled once again by the glitz and glamour of the silver screen.

He stared at his reflection, hunched over the sink with water dripping down his face and onto his shirt. He jabbed an accusing finger at the mirror.

"Twenty four is way too old to start realizing you have abandonment issues, dude."

His reflection had no reply, but he could see wear and tear behind his eyes that he was sure wasn't there a few short hours ago. It was more likely, however, that he just hadn't noticed it before. He straightened himself, smoothing his hair out of his face.

"Especially when it's your fault they left."

On his first trek up Mount Silver, Green was seventy percent certain he was going to die. Thankfully, Alakazam was able to tell him he was being a drama queen and they were doing fine. His cold-hearted reassurance didn't make the air any warmer, though. Alakazam conceded this fact.

Green would have been less whiney if he knew when the whole experience would end. Then, he could count down the minutes instead of the number of times he and Arcanine almost fell off a cliff. But Green didn't know when he could go home because he didn't know where in the frozen hell Red was. Mount Silver was as vast as she was lethal, it could be days before they found where Red was stowed away.

And, Green barely allowed himself to consider, there was a chance that what he was searching for was a corpse and not a boy of nineteen who probably needed some vitamin C and a good slap upside the head. It had been nearly a week since Leaf had seen him, and anything could happen to anybody in a place like Mount Silver.

Rhydon shoved a boulder aside to reveal a small clearing in the cliff face, much more spacious than the perilously thin trail they'd been trudging up. Rhydon looked back a Green with pleading eyes. A small icicle was starting to form on her horn.

"Alright, kids," Green said, hoping off Arcanine. "Let's get warmed up."

Alakazam immediately snapped every dead twig off of every tree in their vicinity and piled them up in the center of the clearing. Rhydon scurried to find rocks to put around the fire. Green chuckled as he walked over to her.

"Try not to appear too eager," Green said, taking some of the rocks out of her arms.

He pet Rhydon's head, but was looking at Alakazam, who was already sitting at the pile of branches, waiting for Arcanine to light it.

"Don't want to seem like a drama queen."

Alakazam looked away with a frown, sourness permeating the air around him.

Soon they were all gathered around the fire. Arcanine watched the small blaze with a keen eye, intent on keeping the limited tinder lit for as long as possible. Alakazam was pretending to meditate, as he had been doing since the moment Green sat down next to him. Rhydon was tucked under Green's arm. Her natural armor made her the least suited to this environment, but Green could scarcely do it without her. Even with Alakazam's meager encouragement, Green still wasn't sure they could do it at all.

A gust of heavy wind swept across the cliff side. Arcanine moved to block it with his body, but the flame dwindled down to a flicker. Arcanine whined, but the wind wouldn't let up.

Green looked to the sky with gritted teeth, as if he could see where the gust was coming from.

As it would turn out, he could. 

High above them, a red glow shone through the clouds. It seemed to be descending, and as it did, a grey shape also became visible.

"No way." Green laughed to himself, disbelieving.

Even though they'd spent twelve hours in the bitter cold, it still seemed too easy.

Charizard landed with an earth shaking thud. It nearly knocked Green off balance as he rose to his feet. Even before the rider dismounted, Green knew it was him. A wild Charizard would have sent his Pokémon into a panic. But this wasn't a wild Charizard, it was one his Pokémon knew well.

Red's feet met the ground with a significantly less impactful thump, but it was one that made Green's heart stop for just a moment.

_Green?_

The audacity of this boy, to think he has the right to question who was in front of him. Green wasn't the one who ghosted humanity halfway into the stratosphere.

 _Asshole?_ Green signed back.

Red took a cautious step toward Charizard.

"Get back here," Green warned.

Within half an hour Green was sitting by the fire in Red's cave-home, showing him everything Delia sent up the mountain with him. The new clothes were very much needed, to the point that Red shirked himself of his old shirt the moment he saw the one with tags still on. 

He was skinny, Green noted, but more teenage boy skinny and I'm-starving-to-death-of-my-own-free-will skinny. He was still a hair shorter than Green, not counting the hair, and would probably never be taller than him unless came back to the land of the living and got three square meals a day and some goddamn sunlight.

"I brought up as much as I thought Arcanine could carry," Green said."Unfortunately, that's not that much with a hike like this."

Red shook his head.

_No, this is great. Thank you._

"Thank your mom. Anything useful in there is from her."

Red cocked his head side to side.

_Then, did you get me something?_

"Yeah, I, uh," Green cleared his throat."Got you this."

Green unzipped his plush winter coat and pulled out a steel thermos. Red reached out to take it, and unscrewed the lid. He gasped softly and smiled.

_Like when we were kids?_

"Needs reheated," Green said in lieu of an answer.

Red carefully placed the thermos near the fire to reheat. Red was always careful with the things he cared about. Green remembered how he would stroke Pikachu with just his pointer finger when he first got her, and how he would only hold his trading cards by their edges. How he would tap Green on the shoulder to get his attention so gently it undermined his purpose.

He watched him adjust the thermos with his finger tips, brow furrowed ever so slightly with concentration, and felt like crying for no reason at all.

"So, are you coming back?" Green asked.

Red sat back on the balls of his feet, gaze focused on the fire. He shook his head.

"It's been five years, dude. Delia misses you."

Red shook his head faster, not allowing any sense of responsibility to settle in his mind.

"I guess if she thought you'd come back she wouldn't have sent you this stuff," Green sighed."The shirt fits so at least this wasn't a total waste."

Green regretted the words the moment they left his mouth. Red's head stopped moving, his whole body sagged.

"Sorry," Green said."I just don't get why you're doing this to yourself."

_You wouldn't understand._

"The _fuck_ I wouldn't."

_You wouldn't. We're too different._

"We've always been different," Green said, nearly choking on the words.

_I didn't know how different, though. Now I do._

No. No. That wasn't right. They'd been through everything together. Nobody could understand Red the way Green could and vice versa. Their childhood, their journey, the League; it was all intertwined. Historically, they were inseparable.

Why did he feel so far away?

_It's not all a waste. There is something I want to say to you. An apology, for the Indigo Plateau. I was upset. Not thinking straight. I know now that that's not something you should force on someone else. I'm sorry._

He was talking about the kiss, Green assumed, but that wasn't how he felt about it. He couldn't say why he let Red kiss him when he didn't intend to reciprocate, but he knew if he made even the smallest noise of protest, Red would have backed off.

And he chose to stay silent. Why?

That was another question to add to the pile. Maybe one day Green would get around to finding the answer. If he felt like it.

It was better to sweep it all aside, he decided. Red would move on, he had to. Perhaps he already had and he wanted to tie up that part of his life in a neat little bow and leave it in the a closet somewhere to collect dust.

"Hey, no harm done," Green said."The hormones, believe me I get it."

Red picked at his shoelaces, fretting. He could correct Green and say it wasn't the hormones, but he didn't, and Green took that as confirmation that he was doing the right thing.

"Seriously, we're cool. As cold as my ass is right now."

Red sputtered a laugh, and Green laughed along with him. Red picked up the thermos, and walked over to Green, passing the hot metal container back and forth between his hands. He sat down and filled the thermos lid with hot chocolate. Red would recognize the recipe as Delia's, the one she made when Red and Green would come in from their snowball fights. But Green was the one who made it this time and he would never tell a soul.

Red handed the lid to Green, who took it knowing it would make Red happier to share than it would to cave two cups to himself.

They clinked their makeshift glasses together and took a sip.

"None of it was a waste," Green said."Sometimes, I say things I don't mean."

_I know._

Red smiled softly. Of course he knew.

"I'm glad you're okay."

Green went on to update Red on the recent goings on. About how he had taken over the Viridian Gym, about Daisy's possible retirement from the Contests, about how Eevee won't evolve no matter what he tried and he was kind of okay with that. 

Red pulled his knees to his chest and rested his head on them. He would mostly nod, and occasionally smile, the same way he'd always listened to Green when he went one of his long winded rant. It had been so long since he'd had this much of Red's attention. It was easy, so easy, to let the pieces fall back into place and pretend nothing ever happened.

It would be even easier if Red would come down the mountain, but it was hard to convince him to abandon his post when he wouldn't tell Green why he took it up in the first place.

They sat there until the fire naturally declined into a mere whisper of a flame. They each retired to their respective bedrolls, and Green could feel the coolness of the air most acutely on his side where Red had sat. He ran a hand over the chilled flesh and shivered.

From then on, every cold night would remind him of Red.

Green reentered the kitchen and took his seat. Daisy and Delia were staring at a napkin intently, Delia nodding ever so often. Red had resumed his feeding ritual with Pikachu as if nothing had been said between the two of them. That made Green feel a little empty.

Something that had sent him fleeing from the room may not have meant anything to Red.

"Welcome back," Daisy said.

He could tell just from her tone that she knew something was up. Neither Red nor Delia gave any indication they thought the same thing, though, so he rug swept.

"It's good to be back," he said emphatically."What'd I miss?"

"I was telling Delia about my ideas for a massage parlor," Daisy said with an illustrative head tilt to the napkin between her and Delia.

The napkin was full of scribbles that Green could not decipher from his vantage point, but he could see approximately thirty bows and eleven billion string lights and knew he couldn't say anything encouraging to his sister without coming across as insincere, because frankly, it would have been.

Effectively shut out of that conversation and with Red preoccupied, Green once again began pushing his food around his plate and thought about the smoothest way to make his exit.

A potato wedge was gently placed onto his plate next to his fork. Green looked up at Red, who had already brandished another potato and was ready to strike again.

"I'm good, pal, just not that hungry tonight."

Red gave him a piece of corn bread. Green was unamused.

"I'm not starving to death, Red."

_You're pretty skinny, though._

"So sorry I didn't grow up to be a beefcake like you." Green tossed the potato wedge back onto Red's plate.

He squinted his eyes at Green's statement.

"You don't know what a beefcake is, do you?"

By the time Red shook his head, Green had already done an internet search on his phone. He handed his phone to Red, who's eye went wide as he scanned the dictionary entry. Red tugged down his hat over his eyes, a blush creeping over his cheeks.

Green burst into laughter, slapping his phone into the table. Pikachu, perched on Red's shoulder per usual, glowered at him.

"Oh, c'mon, Peeks."Green wiped a tear from his eye."It's all in good fun. Right, Dais-"

Green had to pause once he saw the look on Daisy's face. And Delia's. Both were leaned over the table, expressions of bewilderment at varying intensity.

It dawned on Green that he was practically flirting with Red despite the emotional turmoil he'd no doubt put him through, regardless of the entirely real possibility that he still had some lingering feelings for Green, and blatantly in front of Red's mother and his own sister.

He gulped, thinking about how best to walk back on calling his estranged best friend a synonym for an attractive man when Delia cleared her throat.

"So," she said, mercifully."Cake, anyone?"

Green may have been an entire mess with half a brain, but Daisy made sure he grew up with some damn manners. Currently, his sleeves were rolled up and his arms were elbow deep in dish water. Daisy stood beside him, drying off the dishes he'd finished washing, purposefully and painfully silent.

Delia and Red whisked off to see Delia's Diner and the culmination of nearly twenty years of odd jobs, penny pinching, and almost fruitless dreams. Red found her flour dusted chef's jacket on the couch where she'd tossed it earlier in the evening and held it up for her to put on. Delia balked and fretted, saying it was dirty. Red kept holding out the chef's jacket in the same way a gentleman helps a lady into her coat until Delia threaded her arms through the sleeves. 

Every so often, Red's chronic stoicism would cave and reveal the most honest facial expressions to ever grace humanity. He beamed at Delia who hid her face behind her hands. A touch of pride was in his smile for his mother who had worked so hard and done so well for herself.

 _Lucky_ was the word that came to Green's mind when he saw Red show someone else that sincere openness. 

Green had to look away. He wasn't ready to call it jealousy, wasn't ready to name half of the emotions Red made him feel, but he knew he had no right to wish Red were looking at him instead.

"Are you sure it's no trouble?" Delia had asked.

"Of course not," Daisy said."Happy to help."

Green mentally screwed his head on straight and perched an elbow on Daisy's shoulder, broad smile painting his face.

"I think we owe you more than one meal's worth of clean dishes. How about we do it this once and you call it even?"

With a laugh and some more gentle prodding, Delia and Red were out the door, and Green was alone with the one of the two people in the world he couldn't hide his moods from.

So there he was, a stack of white porcelain dishes to his right and a suspiciously quiet sister to his left. The suspense would have killed him if the embarrassment hadn't already.

"Sooooo," Daisy drawled.

Her eyes were trained on the plate she was drying. Her cadence was casual and non-committal. Almost too non-committal. Green knew he was in for it.

"You and Red seem like you're back to your old selves. You guys work things out?"

"Uhh, not really," Green admitted."I guess we're both just choosing not to talk about it and move on. Maybe?"

"Hmm."

Well, that was the wrong answer.

"Can I ask a question?" Daisy asked.

"Can I stop you?" Green asked sarcastically.

"Yes," she said flatly.

Green's eyes widened in surprise. He looked at Daisy. She seemed to have aged a thousand years in two seconds.

"I'm not gonna force you to talk about him or how you feel about him or how you think he feels about you," Daisy said."You keep a lot to yourself for a guy who never shuts up, but I feel that when you do talk to me it's because you're already at a breaking point, and maybe that's the only way you realize you can't handle something by yourself."

Green blinked dumbly, and Daisy kept talking.

"I think it's about time you learned to get ahead of your personal catastrophes. So I'm not gonna force you to talk, or force you to listen to me talk. You have to decide if you want to break the cycle."

Daisy returned her attention to the task at hand, flipping her hair out of her face with the carelessness of someone who hadn't just read their brother like a book and smeared bright pink highlighter across all his weak points.

"But I'm here if you need me."

The dish in Green's hand was most definitely clean, but he kept scrubbing like a roomba stuck in a wrinkle in the carpet.

Green shuttered to think about just how correct Daisy's assessment of his emotional maturity was, but he forced himself to think anyway. At the front of his mind were all the times in the last two days he'd chosen not to think deeper about he was feeling because it was easier. The mere thought of confronting those feelings made him nauseous.

But it wasn't easier, not really. Because every time he tucked himself into a corner he'd find something else to run from hiding there as well. He was tired already and it had been forty-eight hours at the most.

What if, by some miracle, Red decided to stay and not go back to Mount Silver? He couldn't just avoid him. He didn't want to. He wanted...fuck it, he wanted Red in his life again. But it was actually starting to hurt to be around him. He wished Red wouldn't look at him like he'd hung the moon, for Red's own sake most of all, and yet he felt empty when his attention was elsewhere.

How those to two desire could exist in the same person, Green didn't know. 

Daisy wasn't judgmental, and she was his sole confidant in the whole world. He should probably take her advice. He should definitely take her advice, but he didn't even know where to begin.

"What's your question, " he said, after a minute.

"Okay," she said gently."Last time you came down from the mountain, you were weird for a week. This time you act like nothing ever changed between you two. What's different?"

"Well," Green sucked in a deep breath."I just- I kinda...I can't say it well."

"Take your time."

"Last time...there was this thing that happened between me and Red, and I was pretty focused on that, and to be honest I was pissed that he left without saying something and I wasn't really thinking about...about how maybe I'm the reason he's up there. _Was_ up there."

Green handed Daisy the dish and started on another. It helped not to be looking right at her.

"This time though, I've changed a lot. Or at least I want to believe I have, and I know I did a terrible thing to him. I was his only friend and I took that away because I was envious of him."

"The green-eyed monster," Daisy nodded sagely.

All the anxiety building in Green's body burst out of him in a cackle reminiscent of a mad scientist. He wiped a tear from his eye.

"That was a good one."

"I'm glad it went over well," Daisy grinned."You were saying?"

He leaned on the edge of the sink and stared down at his reflection in the dishwater, half obscured by rapidly dissolving bubbles.

"I know how I hurt him, and I want to make it right."

"You want to be his friend again?"

Green nodded.

"I think he'd like that, but that's not quite the same thing as making it right. A proper apology comes with acknowledging the reason you are sorry."

"...I always hoped it would just go away."

Daisy leaned her head on his shoulder.

"You can't ignore something out of existence," she said.

"Tell that to our mom," Green scoffed.

Daisy's spine straightened.

"That's like, the second time you've ever mentioned her in your adult life. I know I've asked this before, but are you okay?"

The scornful laugh that was his instinctual reply died halfway in his chest. He pushed its remnants out in a heavy sigh and looked at her.

"You know what, Daisy? I'm am so not okay right now."

Daisy looked stricken. She immediately tossed her rag to the side and opened her arms. Green didn't even hesitate to lean into her offered embrace.

Daisy gave the best hugs. Tight, back breaking hugs that made it known that she was really, truly right there with you. She squeezed him tight with one arm and stroked his hair with the other.

It'd been years since he'd relied on anyone in this way, but now that it was happening, everything little thing that crossed his mind in the last two ridiculous days started rushing back all at once, stronger than ever.

He almost said no when Daisy needed him and she shouldn't have had to convince him to help her when she was always helping him. He couldn't bring Red back the first time, he'd barely even tried, and Delia seemed so worn from missing him. His grandfather was still a bastard, but he was an old bastard and Green was starting to think they should talk before it was too late.

Red was still Red, and letting Green get away with too much. Acting like nothing had changed, even though he pretty much said they had last time Green saw him.

They were not back to square one, eight years old and fishing for Magikarp at the inlet. Things were different, even Red himself was different. He was pushier now, more expressive of his wants. He was still holding something back, though. A fourteen year old doesn't just abandon society on a whim, even a fourteen year old like Red.

Green was holding things back too. If he could just figure out what those things were, maybe he and Red could really start over after a nice, long, excruciating talk

After that, he _could_ take Red to Celadon, and they could spend the day in terrible disguises perusing what the city had to offer. He could take him to his favorite spot on Route 12 where he swears up and down he almost caught a Gyrados. Red would believe him even if no one else had.

Red always believed in him, loyal to a fault. Whatever he had gotten in return for giving his friendship to Green wasn't enough. He was such a good listener, and the best prank assistant manager a boy could ask for. He was smart, and when he decided to be funny he was really funny. He used to be able to cool Green down with a look of exasperation mixed with immediate forgiveness, before Green became too defiant to even care if he exasperated Red.

He was strong, and resilient, and so, so beautiful. Always had been, even covered in mud from the puddles in Delia's back yard or all the caked on grime courtesy of Mount Silver.

And just like that, Green's mind connected the dots. He finally figured something out, something about himself that had been years in the making and was probably ludicrously obvious in hindsight.

"Dais, I think I love him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could have moved on to the Firework Festival in this chapter but then it would have been absurdly long. So here you go, a whole chapter dedicated to Green realizing he's a bigger idiot than previously suspected. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all of the comments on the last chapter, a lot of them made me tear up. Work was kicking my ass these last couple of weeks, but I finally got the chapter finished, sorry for the wait.


	7. All In Good Fun

**Chapter Seven** \----- All In Good Fun

It wasn't very often that Green was an optimist, but then again it wasn't very often that he was in a situation that seemed like it was specifically designed to torture him. It was worse. Whatever he had imagined about the day of the Fireworks Festival, the reality was much worse than what he'd conjured up.

Green took one step onto the fairgrounds and saw about ten reporters and their film crews, a number of children he estimated to be in the billions, and his grandfather standing front and center talking to that asshole from the _Viridian Verified_. Green cursed fate every day that he had to live in the town home to the newspaper with the most ironic name in Kanto, given its predisposition to spreading slander and lies.

"Hey, Green!" the asshole shouted.

"Emile," Green ground out.

Emile the Asshole Reporter came barreling at him with a chipper sort of enthusiasm that Green read as hostility. He had to stop himself from putting his hand on Alakazam's pokeball and forced his face to be as neutral as possible. A difficult task given Emile's shrill voice and terrible hair.

"I was just talking with Professor Oak about-"

"You know I don't speak with anyone from your publication, Emile. Have a good one."

He shoved past Emile and shot his grandfather a look that asked, "Really?"

He couldn't be sure if Gramps had forgotten all the headaches Emile and his ilk had caused him or if he simply didn't care, but he knew if Gramps gave a single, miniscule shit about him he would have remembered to steer clear of the reporter with an enduring penchant for pomade.

Gramps evidently thought that Green withered glare was an invitation to speak to him, which it was not, and hurried over to him.

"Since when do you not like the press?" Oak asked.

"Since they started reporting that I was dating Lance when I was sixteen and he was thirty-four?" Green supplied."The police actually called me to make sure it wasn't true. Daisy almost went to war. How can you not remember this?"

Oak appeared dumbfounded and a little scandalized. Sure, he'd never spoken to Gramps about it, but it upset both him and Daisy so much that he assumed Oak would be privy to the information. He was acting like it was all brand new.

"Did you date him?" Gramps asked.

"No!" Green screeched."Lance is a total stickler to the rules, you really think he'd mess around with a kid? And do you really think I would be caught dead with a guy who wears a _cape_?"

Oak let out a small breath, looking a tad relieved.

"Good," Oak said."I should have known you'd be smarter than that."

Green balked just a bit at what kinda sorta sounded like a compliment.

"Your concern is nearly a decade late, Gramps, but thanks for the vote of confidence. Where's Dais?"

"In the new flower garden."

Flower garden?

"With Erika."

Erika?

Green nodded as if nothing Oak said surprised him and left. Asking him to clarify meant having to listen to him talk more, and Green was not prepared to sacrifice that much of his waning patience on a man who couldn't even be bothered to remember his scandals.

He walked in a straight line, flanked by booths and vendors on all sides. A Ferris wheel and other rides loomed in the direction of Oak's Lab. He walked until he hit the smell of roses and saw a crowd of young women all headed in the same direction.

Daisy and Erika were standing front and center, a large fountain raging behind them. Hedges and rose bushes encircled the fountain, guarding some less developed plants from direct sunlight.

Daisy was animatedly using gestures to illustrate some story she was telling, and didn't see him approach. Erika was also too engrossed to notice Green. She was hiding her mouth behind her kimono sleeve, trying her damnedest to peer up at Daisy beneath long lashes which was difficult given that they were the same height.

"Where'd all this come from?" Green said aloud.

Daisy's pulled her attention away from Erika and stepped toward him. Erika's face changed as soon as she turned away, and Green got the feeling he shouldn't have interrupted them.

"Green!" Daisy said."You're early. I told you to take some time for yourself, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember. But I was going stir crazy locked up in my hotel room, figured you might need help with, well... _something_."

"You don't have to push yourself."

Daisy insistence made Erika cock her head side to side, surveying Green for any sign of weakness that would cause his sister to fuss over him. Erika was generally a chill person, more inclined to nap than to gossip or pick a fight, but she also gave the impression of someone who held far too many secrets in her tiny body, the least of which where her own.

"How can I push myself if you won't let me work?"

Daisy was unimpressed. He supposed that seeing her little brother have a small meltdown and admit that he's in love with his ex-best friend who was back for a one-night-only special appearance _might_ trouble her, but really it was his problem and no one else's. Daisy had enough to worry about already.

"Anyway, you didn't answer me. Since when do we have a garden in Pallet?"

Daisy beamed.

"You like it? We got everything set up in record time thanks to Erika. Couldn't have done it without her."

"Happy to help. Greenification of a city is always worth the effort."

Pallet Town wasn't anymore a city than a saltine cracker was a three course meal, but he supposed she was just being kind. A small blush tinted Erika's cheeks while Daisy giggled happily. Or maybe she was just being smooth.

"Well, it looks great. Now, I beg of you, sweet sister-"

Green clasped both of Daisy's hand and gave her a pitiful face.

"-give me something to do."

Daisy blew a lock of hair out of her face with a small sigh and an exasperated smile, reluctantly giving in to Green pleas.

"The only thing you could do right now is help Red with the kids. Blaine's doing his best, but a lot of what he talks about goes over their heads."

"Blaine's here? How many Gym Leaders do you need?"

"I didn't ask him to come," Daisy said shaking her head."He came for Red, I think. They were talking for a while off by themselves."

"Weird," Green muttered.

"Weird is standard procedure for Blaine," Erika said.

All three nodded their heads.

"Alright, kiddos! Pop Quiz!"

The crowd of children in front of Blaine groaned with poorly imitated excitement. It was the sound of people who used to know what it was like to be excited, but those times had long since passed along with the fifty-seventh pop quiz.

Green's eyes met Blaine's. Probably. It was hard to tell because of the sunglasses affixed to his face at all times. He narrowed his eyes at the empty space beside Blaine that Red should have been occupying. Where had he gone off to?

Blaine's booming voice blasted away Green's private thoughts.

"Focus! Who is the second youngest Indigo Plateau Champion in Kanto history? Winner get's this piece of gum I found in my pocket."

Nearly all of the children raised their hand with a chorus of, "Pick me! I know!"

"You there!" Blaine pointed toward the center of the crowd."Little girl with the baseball cap."

The kid in the baseball cap stood up, energy buzzing off of her as she danced from one foot to the other.

"It's Green Oak!"

"Right you are little missy!" Blaine pumped his fist in the air."A home-grown hero of this charming little town! Give it up for Green Oak!"

Blaine gestured to Green, arm extended and palm out. All the kids turned their heads simultaneously to look. The near supernatural synchronicity was borderline horrifying until they all began to cheered and stand.

Green had to fight down a blush. Blaine was definitely just trying to get the attention off of himself, but the kids' reaction was kind of heartwarming. Ten years ago he would have been exactly where they were, sitting in the dirt and looking up at an adult they admired. Perhaps someday a few of them would do the things he'd done- the good things, he hoped. But for now, they were all tiny humans, worried most about being bored and what to eat for lunch. And they were happy to see him.

"How's it going?" he said in his most theatrical voice.

The kids shouted an incomprehensible reply, but they all seemed thrilled. Green began wading through the sea of children toward Blaine.

"Having fun with Mister Blaine?"

They groaned again. Green stood next to Blaine, whispering through the side of his mouth.

"I think you might have overdone it."

"I'm the Quiz Master, not the Child Minder," Blaine replied with a scornful tut."That would be a terrible theme for a Gym."

"Where'd Red go?"

"Behind the Farfetch'd shooting stall." Blaine tilted his head in the direction of the stall." He didn't even make it half an hour."

Green let his eyes wander over the writhing, organic amalgamation of nearly thirty children and didn't blame Red one bit for being intimidated. But seven years of running a Gym taught him a few tricks to win the hearts of brats worldwide, and he happened to have six of the best trick in the book.

"Well, I had to beat Blaine's quizzes back in the day. I know what it's like. I'd say you all deserve a reward for your hard work."

Blaine held up the stick of gum.

"Not that," Green said flatly."Hey, kids."

Green leaned in an grinned mischievously. The children also leaned forward, hanging on his words.

"You ever seen an Arcanine?"

The noise that erupted from the crowd was full of joy and a little bit inhuman. Green did his coolest spin and tossed his Pokeball up in the air. Arcanine materialized to his left, eyes bulging at the sight of the innumerous beings all wanting his attention. But Arcanine was well trained and quick on the uptake. He flopped on his belly and waited for the pets to begin, tail wagging just a bit.

"Okay, form a line-Hey! No shoving! Blaine knows all about fire types, so he can answer all your questions. I'll be back in a jiff!"

Green nodded to Blaine as he hurried off to the shooting stall. Blaine, to his credit, was already managing the line and spouting off fact after fact. Green made it to the stall and headed for the back of it. Huddled up in a ball behind the stand was all six feet of Red, knees to his chest and shoulders tucked. Pikachu's tail was poking out between his thigh and elbow, like the mournful center of the saddest jelly donut.

"Dude, you're alive," Green said.

Red snapped to attention. There was no life in his eyes, but just seeing his face after last night made Green lose his breath. Both he and Pikachu inhaled sharply at the same time. Red frantically began to sign.

_I tried, Green. I did. But there were... so many of them._

"Trying is half the battle." Green crouched beside Red, careful not to touch him as if that would give everything away."Why are you in charge of the kids? Surely Daisy didn't-"

Red shook his head.

_No, Daisy didn't ask me to. I was talking with Blaine and we got cornered by a couple of them. Then two turned into ten and then..._

"Ten turned into thirty?"

Red shook his head.

_No, and then I left._

Green cackled gracelessly. Red puffed out his cheeks.

"If you want me to comfort you, you shouldn't look so cute when you're upset."

Oh, boy. He didn't mean to say that. Why was it so easy to flirt with Red? Usually flirting was rather analytical. He had to measure the other person's interest, never sounding too interested himself in case it blew up in his face. He had to have time to figure out what they wanted to hear. After all, some people didn't like to be called cute. Red might not, but he couldn't seem to shut up.

Green almost couldn't bear to look and survey the damage, but he bit the bullet and peaked out of the corner of his eye. Red caught his gaze and began to sign.

_I thought I was handsome?_

There was a glint in Red's eye, a teasing, little twinkle, that let Green know he was never going to forget that he called him handsome, which should have been worrisome considering how much he wished his compliments were inconsequential to Red, but somehow his first instinct was to throw the repartee right back at him.

"Well, you're Mr. Talent, so of course you can be both-Goddamn it!"

He stood abruptly and stalked away from Red. Perhaps it was possible to surgically install a filter in his love struck brain, but if not, Green was fucked. And not in the fun way.

Red's face was one big question mark. Pikachu was still sucking in oxygen like she'd never had the privilege again.

"Sorry, buddy, had a cramp."

_You okay?_

"Yeah, but we'd better get back out there. Blaine won't be able to hold 'em for long."

Red's skin turned completely ashen in the span of time it took Green to blink once.

_If you say so._

"I was expecting you to put up more of a fight, Red. I'm so proud."

_It'll be fine if you are there._

Green's chest caved in on itself while the rest of his body shut down. He stared at Red for too long before turning on his heel, reply buried under his breath.

"I'll try not to let you down this time."

If Red heard him, he didn't let on.

By the time Green got Red back to the children, Daisy and Erika were standing beside Blaine, chatting with him. Daisy's eyes had a sparkle to them that Green knew meant trouble. Blaine and Erika were both nodding enthusiastically. Not a good sign.

Fortunately, the kids seemed to be having a good time. Arcanine too, judging by the speed at which his tail slapped the ground.

"We're back!" Green said with a wave.

The children immediately began chanting Pikachu's name, and to Green's shock and awe Red began to robotically walk over to them and their cheers. Daisy pried her focus off of Blaine and bounded toward Green at terminal velocity.

"Great timing! I had an idea!"

"Heaven help us." Green raised his hands in surrender.

Daisy met him with a playful punch to the shoulder. Too bad his sister didn't know her own strength.

"It's a good one. Just like the _rest_ of my ideas."

Green urged her to continue with a skeptical raise of his eyebrows. He took noted of Red's stiff figure crouched down, flanked by eager children on all sides. Pikachu was refusing to come off of Red's shoulder and the kids were getting impatient.

"One at a time!" Green shouted at them."Go on, Daisy."

"I already ran it past Erika and Blaine, and we all think that two-on-two Pokemon battle would be just the thing to make this night extra memorable. It could be Pallet Town Heroes versus the Gym Leaders. What do you think?"

"Sounds exciting, doesn't it, kiddo?" Blaine said.

"Sounds destructive," Green replied." We don't even have a proper area."

"Nothing hard-core," Daisy elaborated." Just something to entertain people. We'll keep it kid-friendly, which means no Rhydon or Nidoqueen."

"If you don't have an appropriate Pokemon, Blaine or I could lend you one," Erika said behind her kimono sleeve."It shouldn't be too much of a disadvantage since you don't have a preferred type."

Over Erika's shoulder, Green could see that Red had gotten a little more comfortable with the children. He handed a little girl with a bow a biscuit, scooped her up, and put her on his shoulder. From there, the girl fed Pikachu out of her palm over the top of Red scruffy head. The girl giggled loudly when Pikachu began to eat from her hand, and when she did, the barest hint of a smile spread across Red's face.

"Oh, I have a type," Green said."And thanks, Erika, but I'll just use Eevee."

"And Red could use Pikachu!" Daisy chirped.

As if on cue, Red and Pikachu meandered back over to them, both looking rather exhausted. Blaine began to catch Red up on the situation. Green laughed mercilessly.

"You said kid-friendly, Dais. Pikachu is a death machine."

He tossed a amused glance at Red and Pikachu. Red looked a bit miffed about Green's description of his dear friend, but Pikachu almost seemed flattered.

"The kids love Pikachu, though. I'm sure she can turn it down for one battle..."

Daisy batted her eyelashes and to Green's surprise the little rodent nodded obediently.

"Great!" Daisy clapped her hands together."We'll do it at the empty lot behind the garden in one hour. Make it cute and make it showy! I'm gonna go spread the word!"

Daisy thanked everyone and ran off toward the vendors. Green nodded at her retreating figure. He could be showy from sunup to sundown. It was like breathing, really. Red tapped him on the shoulder.

_Make it cute? It's a Pokémon battle._

"Don't worry, pal. Pikachu will do all the work there."

Red's mouth twitched upward into an increasingly familiar smirk and Green braced himself for impact.

_No need. I am also cute._

Yes. Yes he was. And he was also a bastard with an ego tripling in size at every compliment.

Green studied Red's carefree whisper of a smile, mirroring his expression unconsciously. The mood was light, nothing serious. There were numerous other people around so it wasn't as if the moment was anything intimate. Green decided to let himself off the hook just this once.

"I thought you were handsome?"

Normally, Green didn't have to drag Red into a Pokémon battle, but this was not the sort of battle Red was used to and he knew it. No matter what reassurance or advice he tossed his way, Red was still a jittery, nervous wreck.

Green stood next to him in front of the Firework Festival attendees, and could literally feel Red fighting the urge to flee.

Green did his part. He waved to the crowd, shouted taunts at Erika and Blaine, did some stretches that absolutely were not necessary but at least it looked better than standing like a statue praying to get struck by lightning.

He pulled his elbow behind his head to stretch his shoulder. The fabric of his shirt lifted just enough to elicit an appreciative whistle from somewhere in the crowd. Green laughed and blew a kiss to the onlookers, several of whom screamed with glee. He chuckled to himself. It was all in good, harmless fun.

"You ready for this?" he asked Red.

Red was frowning, which was maybe a step up from being completely expressionless if it hadn't been directed right at Green.

"What?"

_Nothing._

Green caught sight of the world's subtlest pout before Red turned his head away. He would have pushed the subject, but Daisy had taken center field, megaphone in hand. She bid welcome to the crowd, thanked them for coming, and proceeded to hype up the event like it was the only Pokémon battle that ever mattered.

"Now who's ready to battle?!" Daisy cried.

The crowd erupted into shouts and cheers. Green took the lead and sent out Eevee, who was bribed beforehand with the promise of treats and struck her cutest pose. Pikachu jumped off Red's shoulder and did the same. The audience proceeded to lose their minds. Green grinned at Red.

"What'd I tell you? Leave it to the professionals."

Red smiled, unrestrained. Green was thankful this wasn't a televised battle, with all the cameras and close ups, so that that bright smile was his alone to melt over.

Teamwork was what won them the battle. Nobody besides Red was using their favored Pokémon, but Pikachu was handicapped to her least destructive moves so it was almost even. Eevee's takedown was the strongest move Green and Red had at their disposal, which said a lot about watered down the battle itself was, but it had to be used wisely or Eevee would be left defenseless while she recovered from the recoil.

They worked together to wear down Blaine's Ponyta, whose flamewheel was wrecking havoc on both the battle field and Eevee's luscious fur. 

Pikachu darted in between Ponyta's legs, giving each one a solid bump with her hip. Ponyta stumbled just a bit, but it was the first good opening he'd had since the battle began.

"Cover me," Green said.

He did not wait for a reply. Eevee used takedown and Ponyta smashed into the ground. Eevee staggered backward, stars spinning around her head. Pikachu was in front of her in an instant, batting away Bellossum's razor leaf with her tail.

Green stole a look at Red. He was already looking at him, obviously pleased that they synced so well. Never had a more kissable man walked the Earth.

Ponyta never quite recovered from the hit he took. He was slow and uncoordinated for the rest of the battle until Eevee managed a well placed quick attack that took him out for good. Bellossum was far tougher than any flower ought to be, but she was no match for Pikachu's speed at close range. The battle was over when Pikachu headbutted Bellossum right into Eevee, who in turn tackled her to the ground. Bellossum feebly tried to get up, but ultimately Erika called her back knowing it was over.

Daisy excitedly announced Red and Green as the winners to raucous applause. They met Erika and Blaine in the middle of the scorched battle field to shake hands.

"Well done," Erika said."As expected."

"One of these days, boys," Blaine howled."I'm gonna getcha!"

"We'll see, old man," Green laughed.

"Watch it!" Blaine said." I'll be heading out now. Thank you for having me."

Blaine extended his hand to Daisy, who shook it gratefully.

"No, no, thank you for stopping by," she said.

"Pleasure's mine. Hope to be back next year!"

Daisy smiled from ear to ear. Blaine moved to leave, placing a hand briefly on Red's shoulder.

"Glad to see you off the mountain, kiddo. And thank you."

Blaine's thanks was laced with something heavy as he and Red shared a knowing, yet wistful, look.

Green eyed Blaine's disappearing figure with suspicion. What was that about?

"It's getting dark," Erika noted.

"Are you leaving then?" Daisy asked.

"No, I think I'll stay for the fireworks. It'd be a shame to miss them."

"Good to hear," Daisy said."I actually have something for you."

She presented Erika with a small bouquet of white wild flowers, tied with a ribbon Green knew she usually used for her hair. The idea must have been last minute.

"They're called sea foam aster. They grow on rocky areas close to the ocean. They are all over the cliffs by the inlet, but I hear that they are actually pretty rare."

Erika slowly took the bouquet from Daisy, as if she was questioning its very existence. Daisy tucked her hair behind her ear, looking self consciously at the ground.

"Sorry, they are kind of plain looking."

"Don't apologize," Erika quickly chastised."I love all flowers."

She hid her half her face behind the bouquet, eyes revealing a gentle smile.

"Daisy."

"Oookaaay," Green said."Red and I are gonna take a break. No problem with that, right, Sis?"

"No problem at all," Daisy said with her eyes trained solely on Erika.

Green snatched Red by the wrist and led him off into toward the vendors. Red sped up so that they we're walking in step.

_Where are we going?_

"Well, I was going to buy some of those weird meat buns Mr. Kaneda always sells at events like this and go back to my hotel room. You can do whatever you want, just give Daisy and Erika some space."

_They were flirting, weren't they?_

Green didn't say anything because he didn't have to. If Red could pick up on the vibe between them than it may as well have been projected onto the moon for all to see.

Suddenly, Green felt a yank on his arm. Red had stopped, but Green hadn't let go of his wrist. He willed himself not to snap his hand away like Red had viral cooties, and casually returned his own arm to his side, shoving his traitorous hand in the prison of his pants pocket.

"What's up?"

_My house will have less people than the hotel._

Green really should make a list of all the things he should know better than to do, and then burn it as a symbolic representation of his behavior over the last twenty-four hours. He shrugged casually.

"Let's go."

"This room really hasn't changed a bit, huh?"

Red nodded while he lowered himself onto the worn Pokeball shaped rug that dominated the center of his childhood room. Green tossed him the brown paper bag filled with Mr. Kaneda's signature meat buns and began snooping in every nook and cranny. He opened Red's dresser.

"Aww," Green said as he held up a pint-sized shirt."This wouldn't even fit around your arm now."

Red shrugged as he bit into a bun. Green haphazardly folded the shirt and tucked it away. He headed over to Red's old desk and opened the drawers.

"Jeez, even your old homework it still here. I feel like I've gone back in time."

In the last drawer, hidden away in the very back, was a familiar round shape. Green plucked it out of the drawer and held it up. The ultraball. Red had been so proud to have it, and yet he put it somewhere he wouldn't be able to even catch a glimpse of it. For Green's sake, no doubt. After all, he didn't remember ever seeing it after he'd broken down when Red first showed it to him. He ran his thumb over the cold plastic, wiping away a thin layer of dust.

"First edition," Green said."It may not work but that's still really cool."

He dusted the ultraball off with the hem of his t-shirt and placed it on top of the desk, next to Red's pencil case. Green turned around to sit with Red, only to find him standing up with one hand reaching out. Concern was evident in the creases between his eyebrows. Green knew why.

"You should get a display case for it," he said.

Carefully, Red dropped his hand. Green walked past him and plopped on the rug. Red followed his lead, and they began to eat in silence. Their shadows on the carpet grew longer and longer until they blended in with the dark curtain that came with the sun descent behind the tree tops . As soon as Green stood to turn on a lamp, bright white light shone through the window.

Green sat on Red's bed to stare out the window at the festival grounds. He waved Red over to come have a look. The bed dipped with Red's weight. Green dug his fingers into the sill to keep from sliding into Red's shoulder.

The entire festival grounds were glowing as if the sun had never set. When the fireworks started, it would be even more dazzling. He knew the place was chalk full of people enjoying the night because he had been down there to see it.

Daisy really did it. He should have known better that to doubt, but the whole idea was a lot for anyone to pull off. But she did it.

_That's a lot of string lights._

"Yeah," Green said. "Daisy loves string lights."

The Ferris wheel lit up in reds and blue as it whorled round and round. It was rather mesmerizing. Green rested his chin in his hand and watched for a moment. The fireworks were due to start soon. He should really go back and be seen enjoying them with Daisy, even though he'd enjoy them a lot more right where he was and who he was with.

Red was staring at him. Probably had been for a while. He had that "stuck" look on his face, like he was thinking too hard.

"Something wrong?" Green asked.

Red shook his head.

_I'm just glad you're here._

"Me too," Green said without hesitation."I'm glad I came, I'm glad you came. This has been a good night, hasn't it?"

Red nodded, small smile spreading his lips. Green took note of every detail. The way his legs were crossed, the hunch to his shoulders, his fingers digging into his ankles. The light played off his skin, blue then red, blue then red. Green told himself to never forget it, no matter what. It was important somehow.

"Red," he said with a sigh."We need to talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! We're back in business. Pretty sure this is the longest chapter I'v written for this fic, and it would have been double what it is if I had managed to fit everything I had planned to in it. Big thanks to anyone who is still reading after I dropped off the map for two and a half months (See below for an optional explaination), you're the best. I hope you enjoyed the new chapter!
> 
> ............
> 
> I accidentally took an unannounced hiatus and I apologize very much for that. Sometimes, it takes me a while to feel an urge or desire to write. When desire goes, it's gone and I can't do anything but wait for it to come back. Anything I try to write during those periods feels stiff and uninteresting, I can't explain it very well. Of course that doesn't stop me from saying to myself, "Today you are going to write, by god!" in an attempt to keep up some semblance of an update schedule, so I never make an official statement saying I am taking a break because I never INTEND to take a break. And it's not that writing becomes not fun anymore, it's that sometimes for me, nothing is. I hope that this doesn't happen again before I finish the fic, but I can't make any promises or I might be lying to you without knowing it. I'm not trying to be depressing, I just wanted to explain. Thanks for waiting.


	8. The Good Things and the Bad Things

**Chapter Eight------** The Good Things and the Bad Things

Daisy hadn't let go of his hand for the entire conversation. She sat across from him in Delia's kitchen reaching out across the table, thumb brushing over his knuckles from time to time. He couldn't shut up and he could scarcely make any sense at all, but she listened.

The subject he kept circling back to was the guilt. How could he have been so cruel? Why did he have to say such things? If he could just do it all again...

"You can't," she reminded, softly."You have to think about what you're going to do now."

He should be grateful there was a _now_. He couldn't do it over, but he could be different. And yet all he wanted to do was sink back into the same old routine. His feelings over Red's, his wants before anyone else's. All he wanted to do was run straight to him and tell him how he felt. It had gone unnoticed for so long and yet now he was bursting with it. He didn't know what to do with all the pressure in his chest save laying his soul bare for Red to see, and let him decide.

It would be cathartic either way-to be accepted despite it all or disregarded like he deserved.

"What are you going to do, Green?"

_What do you want to talk about?_

Red cocked his head side to side while Green formulated his response. He had to be delicate.

"I know this is a lot to ask," he said slowly."But...You know, I wasn't there for you when I should have been, and whether or not you want to admit it I know I'm one of the reasons you left."

Red gulped and turned his head away.

"You don't have to tell me anything," Green assured."Except what I can do to make you stay."

Red's pupils bounced back and forth across Green's face. He was looking for something. It seemed to be eluding him, however. His gaze dropped down to the decade old bedspread. His hand traveled to his chest where it clutched the fabric over his heart. Slowly, Red began to curl in on himself. Green hadn't expected such a strong reaction.

"I'll be better, okay?" Green tried not to sound frantic." I can't be perfect but I can be better. Tell me how I can make it up to you. I don't care if it takes one year or twenty. I'm game if you are."

Red tugged his cap down to covered as much of his face as possible.

_You don't know what you're saying._

Green's eye twitched.

"I'm saying it, aren't I?"

Red shook his head violently.

_You don't know what you're-_

Green shuffled quickly to him and grabbed his hands. He must have looked angry, but he wasn't. He felt desperate. 

"I know what I'm saying!"

He stared hard at Red, who returned his gaze like a cornered animal. The hands in his grasp, after a moment's pause, continued to sign.

_-doing to me._

He let him go and sank back to his original spot on the bed. Incredible. Even when he was trying to do right he was insensitive.

Red's limbs flopped out of the ball he'd curled up in. He leaned a fraction closer.

 _You're not the reason I left. I need you to believe that_.

"I don't."

Red would know from his small voice alone he was completely serious. Vulnerability was something he was too proud to fake.

_You're not. I left because I didn't know what else to do._

"I can think of couple of things right off the top of my head you could have done before abandoning all of humanity!"

_You always were the creative one._

Green scoffed and crossed his arms.

_I'm serious. You've always had options. Maybe I am the best trainer in Kanto, but that's all I'll ever be. What else can I do but train?_

Training. That sort of made sense. The Pokémon on Mount Silver _were_ the toughest in the region. At that point in time, only the Elite Four stood a chance against Red, and it wasn't as if he could keep challenging them over and over again.

"So, you went up there to get stronger?"

Red shrugged.

_I didn't know what else to do. And once I was up there, it made me realize how much I didn't like being champion. The rules. The obligations. The noise. I wasn't good at dealing with all of that. I didn't like it. Even though there were lots of people I missed. I felt like the minute I stepped foot off of Mount Silver I'd be surrounded by all the noise again. The more I thought about it the more I came to dread it._

"Do you still feel that way?"

Red avoided his gaze.

"Tonight was a good night, wasn't it? Even with all the noise?"

_I never should have challenged you. If I had known what would happen, I'd have stopped after Lance. You would have been a great champion. You've done so much even without the title. All I did was run away._

He gazed out of the window as if he could see the alternate time line playing out in front of him. He looked regretful. He looked lost. He hummed thoughtfully, low and soft. It sent a chill down Green spine.

_I was so stupid to think I could catch up to you._

"You're not stupid," Green hissed."Don't talk about yourself like that."

He still wouldn't look at him. Green crawled closer.

"Don't shut down on me, Red. Tell me what I can do."

No response.

"There has to be something."

There had to be. It couldn't just be over. They were inseparable. Always tied to each other in some way, and often, as Green began to realize, just for the sake of being tied together. He'd never considered that there was nothing he could do convince him to stay. Green didn't have to be forgiven, he didn't have to be loved back. This wasn't about him, this was about what he broke. Red really thought such terrible things about himself and it was his fault.

Delia needed her son in her life. Red needed to know he wasn't better off alone, that he was so much more than just Kanto's Strongest Trainer. Green's mind whorled with all the things about Red he loved. He couldn't find a place to start. He was scared he wouldn't be able to stop.

"Red."

His voice cracked, his eyes stung. He cast his gaze down and saw that their hands were almost touching. Inch by inch he began close the gap, achingly slow.

He stopped short. Red's hand was not his to hold. It could have been.

It could have been but he ruined it.

He sat up and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

"I need some air," he announced, and left the house without looking back.

It was a warm night, but Green wished he had a jacket. He needed another layer between his skin and reality. His whole body was an exposed nerve.

He didn't know where he was going. So long as it was in the opposite direction of Red, he'd be satisfied. He walked along the forest edge, on the hill that flanked the east side of Pallet. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the goings on at the festival below, but they could not see him. He decided not to go. His mood would be too obvious. Although he did loath to disappoint Daisy, at least she had some company.

Ahead, he could see the familiar steel chimney that jutted out of the Oak Laboratory. He told himself a long time ago that he would never set foot in that place again. That's what he told himself, and yet he descended the hill and walked over to the building. A single light was on. Gramps' office.

The interior of the lab had been updated since he'd last been there, but the cracked linoleum floor was the same. Two-hundred and eighty-two cracks last he'd counted. Probably more now.

There was new equipment cluttering the counters, new edition books on the shelves. It occurred to Green that he probably couldn't give a tour of the place anymore.

He meandered down the hall heading to the very last room. He'd only been there a few times in his life. Oak said it was off limits due to the importance of his research. He couldn't have the kids misplacing anything. Green used to feel special when Gramps took him back there. He didn't feel special now. He felt like he was about to take a raging Taurus head on.

The door to Oak's office creaked as he gingerly pushed it open. It was basically the same. The desk was covered in papers Gramps would claim are organized, bookcases stuffed so full they threatened to topple over, beakers were heating up over small gas burners.

Front and center was the man himself, hunched over those scattered papers and not paying any attention to him.

Green cleared his throat.

Oak startled and dropped his pen. His thick rimmed glasses shifted diagonally on his nose.

"Green! What a surprise."

"'Sup."

"Uh, come on in." Oak stood and waved him inside, face full of disbelief." I was just about to make some tea."

Green plopped down on the chair opposite Oak and watch his grandfather rifle through the desk drawers.

"Hrmm, it seems all I have is Nanny's Special Bone Revitalizer. Will that be alright? It does has a tang of lemon to it."

"Sure, my bones were feeling a little soft anyway."

Oak actually chortled at that as he place two tea bags in the boiling beakers. Green snickered.

"You still do that, huh?"

"I don't like walking to the kitchenette for measly boiled water," Oak huffed."I can put yours in a test tube for old times' sake."

Apparently Gramps couldn't remember his scandals but he could remember a silly little thing like Green asking him to make a magic potion when he was small. He'd been so devastated to learn it had been matcha the whole time.

"The beaker is fine with me."

"Right," Oak said, handing him the glass."So, what brings you here? Something wrong with Daisy?"

"Oh no, Daisy is doing great."

Daisy was probably getting laid.

"I just came 'cause, well, you said you wanted to talk?"

"Ah, I did."

It was as if the events that went along with Oak's request flashed in front of them. The yelling, the insults, the slammed window. The complete dismissal of Oak roll in Green's life.

What had he gotten himself into?

"I-"

"You see-"

They blinked dumbly at each other.

"You go first," Green said quickly.

"Yes," Oak said, finally adjusting his lopsided glasses."Well, then...I suppose I wanted to say that...I've noticed that you're not in my life anymore. And I don't like that."

Green idly traced his finger around the lip of his beaker, not looking at Oak.

"Are you sure that's not for the best?" he asked."We just fight every time we meet."

He flicked a glance at Oak, whose hands gripped his beaker so firmly his knuckles where white.

"I'm certain it's not for the best. We're family, Green. Does that not mean anything to you?"

"Depends on the family member. I'd literally jump off a bridge if Daisy asked me to. I'd complain before, during, and after, but I'd do it. She's always been there for me. She's a good sister."

Oak hummed.

"The implication being I'm not a good grandfather."

"You kind of opted out during the last half of my childhood, if you don't recall."

It wasn't as if there were never any good times between them. It was that the older Green got, the less he saw of the fun, caring version of Gramps who made him potions in test tubes. He seemed to become more stern and distant by the day.

"You were a very unruly child, you know. So self centered." Oak shook his head. "Like your mother."

Green ground his teeth together. He wanted to throw the damn beaker against the wall and storm out. But, he realized, this was usually the point in their conversations where he did just that. And look at where they were. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, not hiding his annoyance. Oak wasn't even looking at him, though. He was staring at his own reflection in his muddy tea.

"You're like her in a lot of ways, and not just the behavior issues. She had her good points. Everyone does. But she always thought of herself first."

Oak took a long sip of his tea and cleared his throat. Green could see his eyes grow misty.

"She was my only child, I didn't want her to hate me. I was too easy on her. I've always wondered if I had been a better parent, then maybe she would have been a better person. In the end, it cost you and Daisy the most."

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, and shook his head again. Oak was not a soft man, but Green could see how much the thought of his daughter and her negligence hurt him.

"I just can't seem to get it right," he chuckled bitterly."Too soft on her, and too hard on you."

Hearing Oak say it felt both overwhelming and anticlimactic. He didn't even have to argue with him. He freely admitted it. If it was that easy, there was something just as important he needed to hear.

"I always thought you preferred Red." Green heard his voice wobble and he hated it. But if there was one single issue hit closest to his heart, it was that.

"Ah. I see."

Oak finally looked up at him, unflinching.

"Both you and Red always had great potential. The problem with Red was that he didn't know it. He needed to be encouraged, nurtured. There was no one else in his life to guide him in the realms of Pokémon, so I took the reins. And, truth be told I do think of him and Delia as family. I just wanted you both to be the best versions of yourselves. I see now what it must have looked like to you. I'm sorry for that."

"So...my whole life I've resented you for not giving a shit about me, when this whole time your actions were a misguided attempt at helping me realize my potential?"

"Basically," Oak chuckled, awkward. It wasn't funny to him though, Green could tell. Oak had postured himself to appear smaller than he was, like he didn't want to be seen. He held shame in his grey, wrinkled eyes.

It was the most productive conversation they'd ever had. Green wasn't sure it was real. It didn't make everything okay. They had said a lot of cutting things to each other over the years, and it would take several more of these sorts of moments to put them on good terms. It didn't make everything okay, but calling the man in front of him his grandfather suddenly wasn't such a bitter pill.

"I never told you that I'm proud of you, did I?" Oak asked.

"No."

"I am. I'm very proud."

"You're a dumbass." Green choked on a mix between a laugh and a sob.

Oak gave him another awkward smile. He raised his glass in front of him.

"Terminally so," he said with the same fusion of laugh and sob."And I'm afraid it's genetic."

Green clinked their glasses together. He stayed until the tea was gone.

With each step Green produced a resounding snap from the twigs on the forest floor. He wasn't sure were to go next. He oddly enough had an urge to see Delia, but she was busy with her diner and would be able to tell something was up in an instant. If she sensed he was having a hard time, she would drop everything to comfort him. He shouldn't bother her.

He kept walking south, putting more distance between himself and Red's house. It was only a matter of time before he reached the inlet.

The moon light bounced off of the choppy water in a silvery glitter. The sound of the waves crashing into the cliff drowned out the music and the chatter from the festival. A light gust rustled the trees and brought the scent of salt over to him.

Green kept walking along the east side of the cliff, careful not to slip on the natural slope that would eventually lead him to the small beach where he spent much of his childhood summers. Over his shoulder his could see the sea foam aster clinging to the cliff face, growing wild against all odds. Daisy must have risked life and limb getting to those flowers. The gesture certainly paid off, but he couldn't help but think there was a less dangerous way to tell your crush you were sweet on them.

"Oh, right," Green muttered to himself."It's genetic." 

He envied her, though. She was free to chase after Erika, to be open and honest. She had a chance, a good one, to be with the person she liked. He had no such luxury. Not if he wanted to change, and everyone would be better off if he did.

Just giving Gramps ten minutes of his time brought them leaps and bounds closer to being an actually family. It wasn't as if Gramps hadn't played a large role in the distance in the first place, but truthfully, whether or not Green liked the truth, they had both been less than kind to each other.

If all of that was anything to go by then Green had more growing up to do. His time to chase after Red was long, long over. He had been so obsessed with Red chasing after _him_ , fixated on being one step ahead, he'd let all the possibilities slip right through his fingers. The best thing he could do now is convince Red that the world was not a set of jaws waiting to snap shut around his neck, but he couldn't even do that. Because in his selfishness he'd actually managed to convinced Red he was somehow better than him and that simply was not true, but he didn't know how to fix it.

It would be nigh impossible to talk with Red about all his good points without making it blindingly obvious he was in love with him, which was unacceptable to admit if he wanted to make good on his personal promise to be a better person.

His feet met the soft sand of the beach, which he immediately began to kick it into the air, grunts of frustration and loss barely kept at bay. His thoughts were one big circle with no way out.

Green didn't know what to do persuade Red to stay short of groveling at his feet, which was what almost happened before he left. Hell, if Red popped out from behind the next bush he might still do it. A noise rumbled behind him.

A large rock tumbled down the slope, clattering loudly on the way down. Green turn to look at top of the incline. There against the backdrop of the night sky stood Red, face flushed and breathing heavily.

"Oh for fuck's sake," he muttered under his breath.

Red sprinted toward him at frightening speed.

"Hold up!" Green shouted, near frantic.

Red skidded to a halt some ten feet away, sand flying around him in all directions. His chest heaved and his eyes were wide with confusion.

"Just give me some time to collect my thoughts, okay? I'm afraid I might say something stupid."

Red exhaled deeply. The sound had a tinge of annoyance to it. Red then came barreling at him again. Green barely had time to turn around before Red was at his heels. It wasn't as if Green was out of shape but Red was crazy fast.

"Stop fucking chasing me!" Green screeched.

Having his back turned to Red, he could not see him reply, but he could easily guess that Red's response would probably be, _Then stop fucking running!_

He would not stop. Most of his abrupt discussion to run like the goddamn wind was instinctual, but he was committed now. Blatantly and shamelessly trying to escape from having a heart-to-heart with someone was an all or nothing sort of affair.

Running through the sand, however, was astonishingly similar to running through sand, and it slowed Green's pace immensely. They made it approximately thirty feet before Red caught hold of his elbow. He tried to shake him off without looking at him, eyes trained on the stretch of beach in front of him. His feet pressed craters into the sand as he put all his weight into one last struggle for freedom. No dice. Leave it to Red to make him feel feeble.

The last vestiges of his strength left him all at once, and he went completely limp, slipping out of Red's grasp. He flopped onto the beach, attempting not to look out of breath as Red loomed over him, expression unreadable.

"Alright, you got me," Green relented."But I'm serious, dude, I don't want to talk right now."

Crouching down, Red began to sign.

_You don't have to talk. I came because there's something I want to say. Will you listen?_

"Not my specialty, but I'll give it a go," Green said with an nod, but apprehension was already crawling up his spine.

_I've always felt guilty about beating you at the League._

Green hadn't known there was such a thing as being a sore winner until that moment, and boy, did the concept royally piss him off.

"I don't need your pity, Red. Best trainer wins, end of story. I never could beat you before, why would the League be any different?"

_Exactly. I knew the odds were in my favor. But that's not all I knew. I knew how important it was for you to become champion. It meant more to you than it did to me. When Lance told me I had to battle you, I should have turned away. If I was a good friend, I would have._

"Do not fucking apologize to me off all people-"

Red allowed himself to fall on his knees and loomed over Green, still laying on his back in the sand. He mouthed his rebuke rather than sign it.

_You're supposed to listen._

Forcing him to focus on his lips was a surefire way to make him lose his train of thought. Green snapped his mouth shut.

_I should have turned away, but I couldn't because I just wanted you to look at me again. No matter how many times I beat you, you still managed to look past me and I hated it. I wanted you to acknowledge that I was real, that I could still effect you. But when I won, it was like you went further inside yourself. There was still no room for me in your thoughts._

That was pretty much true, Green had to admit. He wasn't thinking so much about Red as what Red had taken from him. He wished he could go back in time and see what sort of face Red had been making, if only to torture himself more.

Red sat down, pulling his knees to chest. Green decided not to lay supine in the sand while his usually reserved friend was pouring his heart out to him and sat up. Red was pinching the fabric of his jeans absent-mindedly while he watched Green right himself.

_I know I said I was going to talk, but there is something I want to know._

Green was aptly described as prickly and self-centered, but Red brought out a side of him even he was surprised existed. It was hard to deny him anything, especially with those soulful eyes focused solely on him.

"Shoot," Green said as devil-may-care as he could manage..

_Why did you pull away?_

Not just any question. _The_ question. Hearing it uttered sent a knife through Green's chest. His answer would not be sufficient. Red would find no solace in the reasoning of a fourteen year old with a bruised heart and an ego stitched together by his delusions of grandeur.

"I-I...it wasn't a good enough reason."

_Tell me anyway._

He saw Red swallow thickly. He was also wary of the answer. But Green could guess it was because he still thought it was his fault somehow. As pathetic as the truth was, as meager a motive as any, Red still should know.

"You made me feel like a loser, dude," Green laughed joylessly."You did everything without trying. It was just who you were. How could I beat that?"

Green shoved his face into his hands in hands, overly self conscious and ashamed of every inch of himself.

"But you know, a lot of that was because I've always had this idea in my head." He sniffled loudly."That if I'm not the best then I'm the worst. And that's not fair. To me or to you."

Quiet, airy laughter slipped out of Red's mouth.

"Excuse me?" 

He unburied his face from his hands to glower at him. Red waved his hand as if to tell him it wasn't what it looked like.

_It's funny. We were both thinking the same thing._

And with that, Green got the joke. All this time, chasing each other in circles when all they wanted was to meet in the middle. But it wasn't funny to him. Rather than laugh, Green finally found the courage to say something he should have said a decade ago.

"I'm so sorry, Red. For everything."

He stopped laughing, wiping his eyes on the heel of his hand. He took a deep breath, and exhaled the remainders of his mirth. He crawled forward, inches from Green now. He smiled the whole time.

_I forgive you._

"So easily?"

_Does it have to be hard?_

It did. Surely it did. If it wasn't hard, did he learn anything at all? Or had it all been self-indulgent punishment? Maybe it was easier to tell himself that all he would ever be was a hateful, selfish little creature than it was to admit that someone might be able to accept and forgive him despite the fact that he was destined to be less than perfect. Somehow it felt better to be miserable. That way, at least, he wouldn't have to change the way he thought of himself after years of giving in to the whispers from the most belittling part of his brain. And he would never allow anyone to love him enough to prove him wrong. A self-fulfilling prophecy. A wall of spears around his heart. A crutch.

"I...I guess not. I just don't understand how you're not still angry with me."

Red shrugged.

_I'm happier about to good things than I am sad about the bad ones._

Green didn't even have time to process how that made him feel before he let out a sob and began to cry. He forgot all the time that he'd given Red more than just painful memories. How must he look to him? Such a mixture of suffering and affection, it was a wonder Red could ever smile at him. And yet...

A hand met his cheek. A thumb brushed away tear after tear. 

_It's not as if I also didn't try to hurt you._

"If you mean the League," Green said shakily." Don't apologize. I think I needed to lose to you. I don't want to know who I'd be if I'd won."

The person sitting across from him was full grown, but he could still see the little boy who moved to town in the spring time and had left in the summer ten years later. He didn't remember meeting Red, odd as it was to say. He had been too young to hold onto that memory. To the best of his knowledge, Red had always been there. That was just how it was meant to be, he supposed.

"I don't want to know who I'd be if I hadn't met you."

_It's the same for me._

His expression dared Green to disagree. His posture was resolute. Green resigned that it wasn't his place to tell Red how to feel. He would be content with just being in the know.

"Today was a good day? Even with all the noise?"

Red grinned with all his teeth. That teasing twinkle to his eyes was back.

_You've always been loud._

Green's chuckle died quickly in his throat. He was more preoccupied by the sight of Red's carefree smile than his with own laughter. He hoped to see it many more times, so many he'd lose count. 

"Are you alright with that?"

There was another hidden but more daring meaning behind his words. Red caught on, but then he was the only person in the world who could have.

 _Yes._ Red's smile turned from unrestrained to soft. _I love that about you._

A few more tears slipped by without Green caring to stop them. Red fussed, and brought his hand up to Green's face, but he stopped him by lacing their fingers together.

"Wanna hear all the things I love about you? Prepare yourself. It could take a while."

Red arched an eyebrow, doubtful. It was upsetting to see the disbelief on his face. It simply would not do. There was no room for doubt between them any longer. Green was sick of it and he would scatter all its traces to the wind. Both Red's and his own.

"Yup," Green said as he began to lean closer and closer. "Could take a whole afternoon, or maybe a decade, perhaps thirty years."

Their noses bumped. Red's eyes went from wide with surprise to hooded and relaxed in an instant. Green felt large hands close around his shoulders. The warmth seeped right into his skin and he told himself never to take that feeling for granted no matter how common place it might one day be.

This time, he'd do it right.

"Probably a lifetime."

The kiss was closed lipped, but firm. It seemed all Red knew about kissing was how to put his back into it. Green wrapped his arms around strong shoulders to keep from falling into the sand.

The boom of the first firework made them break the kiss. Looking up, the sky was soon saturated with every color imaginable. The pleased cheers of the crowd were muffled by the waves and the detonations, but were still faintly audible. The tree limbs from the surrounding forest edged into Green's peripheral and framed the dazzling sight.

"Best seats in the house," Green joked.

Red did not reply, but steered his shoulders to make him turn around. Green's back settled against Red's chest and his arms closed around his middle. Red let go briefly to sign.

_Now it is._

Previously, Green would not have described Red as cheeky, but he supposed he wasn't the only one who'd changed over the last ten years. And he had changed, he relented, giving Red's hand a squeeze.

"I know this goes without saying," Green said."But please don't go back up Mount Silver. I don't think I can survive with half my heart on a mountain."

Red puffed a gentle laugh.

_So cheesy._

"Only for you."

Red's chin settled on Green's shoulder and his arms drew him even closer. Sometimes, it was hard to find the right words, especially when you were someone who preferred not to use words at all, but Green knew Red wasn't going back. He suspected Red didn't have a plan at all, but what he did have was support from people who loved him and he had it in abundance. 

He would figure it out, and Green would help him in any way he could. It was the most exciting future he'd envisioned for himself since he was eight years old, except now it wasn't glory he sought after.

He felt coarse hair brush against his ear as Red nuzzled the side of his head idly, eyes to fixed on the sky.

Not glory in the least.

After the fireworks had ceased, Green found himself headed back to Pallet hand in hand with Red. He wondered if perhaps they should try to keep their relationship on the down low for a while, just so they had room to breathe while things were still new. Once they were official, they would probably have to block off a whole weekend to receive all the well wishes. Pondering the options, Green snuck a look at Red who was already sneaking a look at him through the corner of his eye.

Green's hand was given a bone shattering squish that was filled with unbridled affection. There was no way Red was letting go. Green prepared himself for the inevitable onslaught of merriment and tried, failingly, to return the squeeze with similar enthusiasm.

They walked in silence from the inlet, through the forest, past the lab, and arrived at the entrance to the festival. It was less crowded now. People were probably headed back home or to their hotels. They didn't have to walk for very long to find Daisy, Erika, and Gramps. Daisy was holding Pikachu, who Green hadn't even noticed was missing from her usual perch on Red's shoulder.

"Hey," Daisy said." We missed you during the show."

Green could see the exact moment Daisy saw their hands intertwined. Her eyes became empty as the realization struck and then filled up with sparkles and sunshine that she was barely keeping inside herself.

"Sorry," Green said, sincerely."Found some great seats away from the crush. Hard to pass up on."

"Were those seats in the sand?" Erika asked.

Green looked down at his pants. Yeah, there was some sand but it wasn't that noticeable. Erika and Mrs. Kaneda would either hit it off, or their meeting would end reality itself.

Behind Erika and Gramps, Daisy was giving him two big thumbs. Green rolled his eyes while he silently thanked who or whatever was listening for the best sister in the world.

"Why are you holding Red's hand?" Gramps said.

Daisy, usually merciful and understanding of Gramps' lack of tact, elbowed him hard in the ribs.

"Guess," Green said flatly.

Pikachu bounded off of Daisy and scurried back on Red's shoulder, who immediately showered her with ear scratches.

"I can guess, but when did this development begin?" Gramps asked, clutching his ribs.

"Two days ago," Green replied."But also, like, twenty years."

Red nodded in agreement.

"Mmm," Gramps murmured, not quite getting it but not willing to admit it.

"I cannot say I saw it coming," Erika interjected."Seeing as Red has been on a mountain for ten years, but I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," Green said." I'm happy for you and Daisy, too."

"What?!" Daisy screeched, face quickly flushing."What are you talking about? I mean, how could you have known that-"

"Daisy, are you goddamn kidding me?"

"I'd hate to interrupt," Erika said."But perhaps we shouldn't keep Delia waiting?"

"Oh, right," Daisy said, speaking to Green and Red." Delia's closed up her diner for tonight and she's invited us for some pie. Wanna come?"

Green could feel the vibrations of Red's vigorous nodding running down his arm. Erika led Daisy forward by the waist, as she was preoccupied by moping over being found out so fast. Pikachu hoped off Red's shoulder to lead the charge, chirping with glee upon every step. Red followed after her right away, tugging Green behind him. But, he noticed, there was one person missing.

Gramps hadn't moved and inch. Uncertainty was evident is his features.

"You coming?" Green asked.

"I, err, wondered if I should," he said.

"Of course," Green said as if it were obvious." Family dinner. Or...family pie. Whatever. Come if you want."

Green kept walking ahead. It was only a short moment later that Gramps fell in step with him and Red. With a sheepish but happy smile, he nodded and passed them.

He and Red now lagged behind the rest of the group, away from prying ears.

"I kind of wanna hear your answer," Green said.

Red cocked his head to ask what he meant.

"About how long it's been since, you know, you knew you liked me," Green said."I'm serious about what I said back there, stupid as it sounds. "

Red hummed thoughtfully, and scratched his chin for good measure.

_I guess for me it's mostly the same. We've been together forever, and my feelings for you have changed shape over the years, but I've always loved you. I've loved you since I learned what love was, and probably before then, too._

Most of Green's most recent trouble with Red stemmed from his inability to shut up, but now he was at a loss for words. He smooshed his head against Red's shoulder in lieu of a response.

Green could scarcely believe that he had been so ready to deny himself this happiness. The greats of the world always talk about how they suffered. How it shaped them, how it drives them. How when you are deep in throes of achieving your dream you must learn to cope with the suffering that chasing after starlight brings you. That can be true, but just because he was suffering didn't mean he was making progress. Sometimes moving forward just feels good. It feels warm and fuzzy and tastes sickeningly sweet. It feels like the best day of your life. It feels like relief and gratitude. Sometimes it feels like forgiveness, and it never feels like giving up on yourself.

They came up on Delia's Diner, and saw the woman herself through the large glass windows of the store front setting out silverware. Daisy entered first and was given a big bear hug for a job well done. Erika bowed respectfully to her and started helping with the place settings. Gramps was led to a seat and made Delia laugh with some sort of one liner.

Soon Green and Red would be on the other side of the glass, too, surrounded by loved ones and looking as content and peaceful as they felt to anyone who happened to pass by.

And sometimes, moving forward feels like you're moving backward. It feels like you're going home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a whopping 16 and a half pages, thank you to anyone to took the time to read it and it's preceding chapters. But we're not done yet! There will be an epilogue coming. 
> 
> Like Green and Red, I have been going through some big life changes myself and I want to thank everyone who said that they would patiently wait for new chapters to come out despite the fact that I've been uploading slowly. I think if I had forced myself to write when I wasn't feeling it, the story wouldn't have come out right. I had a lot of trouble with the big confrontation scenes. I actually wrote like five of them and sort of Frankenstein stitched together the parts I like best. I really do hope it turned out well. 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading this far and thank you for your support. I love love love to read all your comments, it really keeps me going. See you guys in the last one!


	9. Epilogue

**Epilogue-----**

"You really didn't have to do this."

Delia was right, he didn't, but he could also tell that she was happy he offered to help. Green had come just to speak with Delia, however, he found that her diner was filled to the brim with patrons and chaos. The wait staff were overwhelmed trying to keep up with the trash and clutter the guests left behind. Green didn't know the names of most of the teenagers Delia employed, which he saw as yet another sign that he was getting old. He always figured he'd be at least thirty before he began to feel like a walking corpse, but he supposed twenty-eight was close enough.

"It's no trouble at all," Green said while he cleared another dirty table of its dishes."Besides, there was something I wanted to talk to you about."

Delia came behind him and wiped down the table with a wet rag. She had the speed and efficiency only mothers could unlock and utilize.

"Would it happen to be about that _thing_ we spoke about on Thursday over the phone?"

Sparkles in her eyes nearly blinded him. Green fought down a blush and cleared his throat.

"I suppose it's tangentially related. Well, rather than talk, I have something I'd like to say."

Wringing out the rag, Delia nodded and turned toward the kitchen. Green followed after and was led to the walk in freezer.

"I come in here to scream sometimes," Delia laughed as if it were a guilty secret, like eating a tub of ice cream in one sitting."No one bothers me when I go in here. What did you want to say?"

"That's kind of weird, but if it helps," Green shrugged, hoping one day Delia would get to retire somewhere nice and tropical with no worries. " I wanted to say that...ugh, I'm still no good at this stuff."

"Take your time," Delia said sincerely as if they were not in any danger of frost bite.

Green scratched the back if his head, still unsure of how to start. He hadn't planned out what exactly he wanted to say before coming to see her. There was a sentiment, a feeling, he needed to convey. That was all he was sure of.

"You know, my mom, she didn't want me. Or Daisy. She left a voice mail for Gramps to come get us from her apartment. Haven't seen her since, not that I want to."

"I knew bit and pieces," she nodded. Her face read as sad but the balled fists at her side gave away a bit of anger.

"We have pictures but I don't look at them. I don't remember what she looked like. And any time I think about something like a mother, I don't think about her. I think about you."

He'd never seen Delia cry. The wobbly chin and the gritted teeth from that night on the Indigo Plateau were evidently inherited from her. There was a lot Green wanted to thank her for, but all he could manage was one more sentence past the lump in his throat.

"I'll take good care of him."

Delia wiped her teary eyes on her sleeve and smiled, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him into the hug he coveted so much during his childhood.

"You already do."

Green stepped out of the diner and into the last remnants of the days sunlight. Pink and orange were beginning to stain the horizon. It was only fifteen minutes until he was supposed to meet Red. He started making his way toward the gates of the fourth annual Pallet Town Fireworks Festival, now with even more string lights and some people who eat fire. How did Daisy come up with this stuff?

He'd already sent an apology text to her saying he wasn't going to be with her during the fireworks. He'd managed it the last two years, but this time he had something to take care of. Daisy sent back a picture of her and Erika both in traditional garb, munching on cotton candy.

"No worries!" her text said.

Green smiled at the photo. They were pretty damn cute together, not as cute and him and Red, but definitely the second cutest couple in Kanto.

"Green!"

He looked up from his phone to his Gramps hobbling toward him, cane raised up off the ground.

"I'm gonna close my eyes for two seconds," Green shouted." And when I open them you better have that cane touching the pavement."

Gramps did as he was bid, but not without a pout.

"I can move faster without it," he huffed.

"You can fall faster, too," Green shot back.

It was a fall that gave Gramps the cane in the first place. Even Nanny's Special Bone Revitalizer couldn't fix a spiral fracture. It had been over a year ago, but Gramps was past the age where one could bounce right back from an injury like that.

It was beyond strange to see him laying a hospital bed. Most of his life Green had been certain Gramps would live to be one-hundred just by shooing off death, saying there was more research to do. The headlines had been kind of funny, though. Green wanted to gift Gramps the one that said, "Timber! The Mighty Oak has Fallen," in a nice frame but Daisy said it would be insensitive.

Green did it anyway, and Gramps had it on his desk.

"None of the sass," Gramps tutted.

"I would be naught but a withered husk without my sass," Green said, appalled.

"Spare me. Anyway, I meant to tell you to try the Kaneda's newest meat bun. I was pleasantly surprised myself."

"Is it good?"

"It tastes like food," Gramps nodded.

"They should let you endorse them," Green said sarcastically.

"What did I say about the sass?"

"I'm not being overly dramatic when I say if you make me adhere to that I will literally die."

"And I will literally put your ashes in the ugliest vase I can find. Have a good night." 

Green feigned horror until Gramps was a fair distance away, and then, smiling to himself, headed on over to the Kaneda's food stand. Mrs. Kaneda was minding the stand. The sight of her set off Green sympathtic nervous system, but he fought the urge to flee and went up to order a couple of the newest buns.

"That'll be 1500 Pokémon dollars," she said.

Green handed her the money, keeping his face as neutral as possible. It didn't work.

"What are you so excited about?"

"I'm not sure what you mean. I feel totally neutral."

"Oh, certainly," Mrs. Kaneda seemed to restrain herself from rolling her eyes."Where's your boyfriend?"

"Red's doing a meet and greet with the kids. Well, his Pokémon are."

Green had been pleasantly surprised when Red agreed to doing the event by himself. Granted, it was more of a play session where kids got to pet and feed treats to the Pokémon of a champion. All Red had to do was make sure it didn't get out of hand, but still. Progress.

"That's rare," she said, handing him a paper sack filled with buns." I hope nothing bad happens."

"Oh, Mrs. Kaneda, you are a delight. I'll be going now. Take care."

Green hastily turned away and sent a poorly spelt text to Red asking about his general condition. There was an immediate reply.

"It went well. I'm at the place."

Green threw his head back, exhaling a heavy sigh of relief. He hurried to the agreed meeting place.

Red was standing at the front of the line to the Ferris Wheel, hand shoved in his jeans pocket. He appeared relaxed but Green knew he was nervous being in a big crowd by himself even with Pikachu to keep him company.

"Hey!" Green called.

Red lit up from head to toe and waved.

"It went well, huh?" Green asked, extending the sack of meat buns."These are for you for a job well done."

Red accepted the greasy sack with a grateful nod. Green tried not to judge. The boy spent a large amount of his formative years eating roots and bark and thus his taste buds were forever ruined.

He was wearing the hat Green bought him in Johto. Ever since he came down from the mountain, Red had been gifted many a hat. People didn't know much about Red's likes and dislikes, but they did know he always wore a hat. It made it that much better when Red always chose the one Green bought him over all the rest. 

He was starting to think they ought to travel again. Wanderlust was creeping into his thoughts more and more, and he knew it was probably worse for Red. Their first trip was their longest at eight months, and entirely coordinated, or lack thereof, by Red. He kept asking Green if it was really alright to leave the gym for so long. It probably wasn't but Green always brushed away his concern.

"It's my turn to chase after you," he'd say with a smile.

Green caught Red around the waist and led him forward to the Ferris wheels entrance. He'd pulled some strings so that their car would be at the very top when the fireworks started. He wasn't one of Pallet Town's heroes for nothing.

"Shall we?"

Red nodded with a smile and let Green steer him. Green thanked the ride operator with a knowing tone of voice and entered the ride. He sat opposite Red, who instantly stared out the window while chomping on a meat bun. They were barely off the ground and he was already surveying the sights with a child-like wonder. Green knew he'd love the Ferris wheel.

The last rays of the sun had slipped behind the trees some time ago. The wheel took them up and up, each inch adding a butterfly to Green's stomach. Red tore his eyes away from the darkened country side to face Green.

_This is nice._

If he thought so now, he would lose his mind when the fireworks started. But that was exactly what Green wanted, to see him happy. To make him happy.

"It really is," Green agreed.

The small box and the silver ring inside weighed down Green's jacket pocket, but the rest of him was floating on air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it! Thanks so much to everyone who left comments and kudos. Your feedback is very important to me, comments are the life in my veins. I appreciate everyone who stuck with the fic from beginning to the end. The boys are happy now. We may rest. 
> 
> Probably gonna do a little Daisy/Erika story as well. If you're interested, keep an eye out. 
> 
> Until next time! Much love, Skeli.


End file.
